Bears Mid-term Offense Grade B+



By Paul M. Banks

As our beloved monsters of the Midway head into the bye week with seven games down and nine to go, they are a very pleasant surprise. Chicago is in first place in the NFC North and the presumptive favorite to stay there after edging past their biggest division rivals, the Minnesota Vikings by a wildly unexpected 48-41 score today at Solder Field.
Starting Quarterback Kyle “Captain Neckbeard” Orton explained what today’s big win means to the team. “4-3 now, 2-0 in the division. It was a critical game at a critical point in the season for us heading into the bye. But first place in the NFC North and we’ve got a week and a half now to get better throughout the bye week,” Orton said.


The fourth year signal caller from Purdue has truly gotten better each week and developed into a solid NFL starting QB, guiding the Bears to the third highest scoring offense in the league and 28 points per game, and that average was computed before today’s nearly 50 point outburst. I must admit was a big cynic of this group back in the preseason, even more so after first round draft choice #14 overall Chris Williams went down. Who could have predicted that Josh Beekman and John St. Clair would fill in so well on an especially depleted left side of the line?


One thing I was right about was that Lovie should (and would) go with Orton as the starter and that his play would make us all forget about Train Rex Grossman. Kyle has made Bears games exceedingly fun to watch this season, ramping up the passing game as the air above the Lakefront on Sundays is now seeing the most action it’s seen since Meigs Field was still in existence. Orton had thrown for 280+ yards (and no interceptions) in his last three games.  He gave a very descriptive quote today about if he though the team’s prolific offensive production was surprising.

“I don’t think a whole lot of people were expecting it to this extent at the start of the season. But we’ve got a bunch of guys out there who really make plays. We’ve got two tight ends that really play well for us. Matt Forte, obviously, makes play after play, and the receivers are doing a great job when they get the ball in their hands. Marty Booker turned on the jets and had a huge touchdown for us this game. It seems like everybody is stepping up when their number is called.”


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  1. Orton, you’re the greatest

  2. Columbia Babe says

    Even when you look like a caveman, you can still bag chicks. Or when you have loads of dough and play for an NFL pro team.

    Not bad Orton..your quality of babes/groupies is quite impressive.

  3. paulmbanks says

    I think I might refrain from posting pics of drunk Orton from now on. Cuz he’s reformed himself. That was the 05-06 Kyle Orton. The current version has grown up and matured, doesnt party like that,

  4. EIU Cheerleader/SICA Chick says

    a 91.4 passer rating. “so easy a caveman can do it”

  5. I can’t believe Kyle Orton is actually a god NFL quarterback… seriously baffling

  6. by god I clearly meant “good”… he is no where near Brett Favre status

  7. Peter Christian says

    I still can’t believe I had to shave my head because of two boneheaded special teams plays.

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