’13 Chicago Sports Turkeys: Jordan Lynch, Derrick Rose, ESPN 1000, Hawk Harrelson

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Jordan Lynch

It’s that time of the year again. Roll out the hams and turkeys with sides of stuffing, cranberry sauce, and mediocre Thursday NFL football. But before all of the fun and awkwardness that family can offer comes over to your recently cleaned house, let’s take a look at some of the biggest sports turkeys the Windy City has seen in 2013.

To be clear, a sports turkey does not mean that they are not necessarily bad or ignorant. All it takes is one boneheaded or off-the-wall act or decision to be labeled a turkey.

Jordan Lynch bandwagon: This one pains me, but who in their right mind thinks Jordan Lynch is worthy of the Heisman Trophy? Even if Lynch somehow manages to snag an invite to New York for the trophy presentation, it will be a token one. His numbers are more than impressive but have been accumulated against bums. There are at least three other quarterbacks that will rank ahead of him in the voting process, and it is deserved. Like everyone else, I am enjoying watching Lynch single-handedly lead the Huskies to another BCS Bowl game, but have realistic expectations beyond the college football regular season.

You should, too.

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Derrick Rose: I will never wish anything bad upon someone with other-worldly talent. One thing is very clear from the entire D-Rose injury catastrophe: Listen to what the hell your doctor says. If doctors say playing is the final stage of your rehab, get your ass on the court and play. They didn’t go to school for nearly a decade for you to ignore their advice. Here’s to hoping 2014-15 is much kinder to Chicago’s golden child with no knees.

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Adam Dunn: Every White Sox fan knows what to expect from the lumbering slugger: Beer league home runs and strikeouts. Just do your damn job. The contract should have never been offered to Dunn, but hindsight is 20/20.

Marc Trestman: If Lovie Smith scrambling information wasn’t enough for you, Marc Trestman is here to confuse the hell out of you. The quarterback whisperer appears to take pleasure in sending mixed messages when it comes to injuries of Chicago Bears players. A high ankle sprain requires a walking boot? C’mon, man. It is bad enough that the Bears are the walking wounded, so the least Trestman can do is report something remotely close to the truth when it comes to his players’ injuries.

Ken “Hawk” Harrelson: An annual sports turkey, ‘Hawkaroo’ continued to belittle MLB umpires at an alarming rate in 2013. His pregnant pauses during important momentum swings against his beloved White Sox is also piss poor television and generally unacceptable in the broadcasting business. I’m ready to miss Hawk and am looking forward to see the Hawk strut his way out of the broadcasting booth.

Starlin Castro: I would address why he is a turkey, but I have the same attention span as him.

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ESPN Radio AM 1000: What is the best way to attract listeners to your dying radio station? Put your best show up against your opponent’s highest radio sports radio show. 670 The Score is moon-pounding ESPN 1000 in every aspect. The only thing AM 1000 can boast is that they broadcast the Rose-less Chicago Bulls.

‘The Waddle and Silvy Show’ is hands down the best they have to offer. In an attempt to shake up the weekday lineup and look like it can compete with a real radio station, ESPN moved Waddle and Silvy to the afternoon drive slot of 2-6pm. The Score has been airing ‘The Boers & Bernstein Show’ during their 1-6 pm slot since 2009 and have blown away any competition. WSCR-AM continually finishes in the top three monthly among men 18-34 and top ten, overall according to Arbitron readings. ESPN Radio? Nowhere in sight.

I would love turning up the dial to catch a sound nugget of Tom Waddle and Marc Silverman when The Score was on commercial, but now that is not an option. ESPN Radio also feels strongly enough about their crap schedule that their commercial breaks are no more than a minute off from 670’s. Then there’s the guest list: all ESPN employees, all the time. That’s a huge part of what’s wrong with ESPN 1000, every guest on Waddle and Silvy is someone who works for ESPN in some capacity. And the rest of the station is pretty much like that the rest of the time. Imagine is CBS owned 670 The Score had only CBS employees on as guests? You’d turn it off for sure, wouldn’t you?

Feel free to go off air ESPN 1000, and let Waddle and Silvy salvage their careers. Bruce Levine did.

Follow Jeff on Twitter @jeffrotull44 for more sports and entertainment ramblings. If you play fantasy sports, check out The Fantasy Fix, where Jeff covers your add/drop/watch needs during baseball and hockey season, and does weekly podcasts, as well.

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