Benson Doesn’t Blow



By the Soxman

Regardless of what all of you stat geeks and football fanatics think who have watched him fall significantly short of expectations during his Bears career, I’ve got news for you: CEDRIC BENSON DOES NOT BLOW! That’s right.  You heard it here.  When pulled over under suspicion of driving under the influence and asked to take a breathalyzer test, Benson refused to blow and was then arrested and charged with a DUI, his second in little over a month.  That’s more offensive action than we saw during his three seasons with the Bears. Swerving in and out of traffic, almost plowing someone over, and racing at dangerous speeds are all words that Bears fans wished to describe Benson’s NFL career.  Sadly the best way to describe how fans feel about him now is “pepper spray in the eyes.”  It hurts, it burns, and it makes you cry.

Even long-time Benson-backer, Bears general manager Jerry Angelo reached his limit with the running back.  He’s breaking Angelo’s heart more than he’s breaking tackles:
“Disappointment is too much an often-used word when we’re talking about Cedric, and the number one lesson for every player is protect your job,” Angelo said. “So we’re all held accountable for our actions.”

 Benson rushed for more than 5,500 yards and 64 touchdowns at Texas. But instead of taking his college game to the next level, he regressed to acting like a baby before even taking his “first steps” in the NFL.  Demanding to be a star and holding out for more money, Angelo appeared to act like a clueless parent giving a spoiled child his way.
 After the 2007 Super Bowl, the Bears traded fan-favorite Thomas Jones to the Jets, allowing Benson to be the “feature back.”  In most games, he went down a lot easier than he did while allegedly resisting his arrest while boating in May.  He responded by only averaging 3.4 yards a carry and rushing for only 4 TDs. In three years with the Bears, Benson has rushed for 1,593 yards and 10 touchdowns, averaging 3.8 yards a carry.  These certainly are not the worst statistics for a running back in the NFL, but not worthy of a player who believes he should be the center of a team’s offense. How a player could get arrested a second-time for an alcohol related incident is beyond me.  Everyone can make a mistake, but when the mistake happens repeatedly, it makes you question the person’s dedication to the game, the fans, and their career.
In closing, Soxman would like to say that “Bust” is not a word that will be used to describe his ability to break tackles or to plow through a defensive line.  I also have a feeling that even pepper spray wouldn’t bring many fans to tears upon hearing that he’s been cut.  Matt Forte, you are rising on fantasy draft boards, and in the eyes of Bears fans everywhere.  We already had an entertainer, now we need a running back…that doesn’t blow.  Don’t let us down.



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  1. paulmbanks says

    I think I know who the Cedric Benson of sports media is…Rachel Nichols. She is just awful! Just watched her Celtics report from the Finals, just painful. brings nothing tangible to the table, just hype…kind of like Benson

  2. the Rachel Nichols comparison is somewhat on… only I bet Cedric Benson actually blinks once in a while…

  3. Ironic that hours after I submitted this article to Paul, Benson was rleeased by the Bears. I wonder what type of punishment the NFL will hand down? I’m glad to see that the Bears are remaining consitent and holding a no tolerance policy for this type of behavior. Then again there was the whole Lance Briggs crashed Bentley incident.

  4. yeah…Briggs has gotten kind of a pass on that one

  5. Sarah Spain says

    While it’s scary to depend on an unproven rookie RB, it’s not like we’re losing a guy that deserved to be a number 1 RB in the NFL anyway. Benson’s piss poor play matched his piss poor attitude and I’d rather see another guy–ANY other guy–get those measly 3.8 yards a game.

  6. seymourpennants says

    And to think I was a huge Cedric fan when he played for Texas, and again to think I was thrilled he was drafted by the Bears.

    I’m burying the Benson Rookie jersey I bought.

    Soxman, Best article I’ve seen from you yet! And great title. Probably because it wasn’t about the Sox – because they blow.

  7. paulmbanks says

    Soxman, in the race for MVP, you’ve been locking up delegates and superdelegates all over the place lately!

    I wanna party with Cedric Benson’s mom sometime

  8. It’s fun to step outside my sox once in a while and expand my world. I’d bring Shuan Alexander into camp. With Devin Hester slated to be WR1, we have nothing to lose.

  9. seymourpennants says

    I wanna party with Cedric’s Grandma. I hear she’s a real hottie.

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