Bulls-Hawks Eastern Conference Semifinals: Thoughts, Musings, Observations

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It’s probably not a good thing that Derrick Rose has to shoot 25+ shots every game, but it is certainly a good sign that the Bulls aren’t in worse shape when you consider he’s shot well under 50%, and very often under 40% and they’re still winning.

-Rose went just 10-27 from the floor last night, but had a game high 25 points and 10 assists. It seems like the ankle is just fine, but he’ll avoid contact in the lane just the same, whenever he can. The Indiana Pacers, that grindy group of goofy bastards were just so physical with him, it’s good for him to be playing NBA basketball instead of NFL football

By Paul M. Banks

avril

-Damn that Avril Lavigne song in the Heineken ad (running non-stop during the NBA playoffs) is CATCHY! “Sing it out loud. Blah blah blah. Blah. Sing it out loud something something with me.”

–Actually that’s not Avril after all, it’s some band I haven’t heard of. Here’s the full length commercial with an added scene featuring a fat cowboy with facial hair that combines a Rollie Fingers mustache with President Chester A. Arthur mutton chops.

-And here, for no reason at all, is another Avril picture

-I’m still sad former Bears DB R.W. McQuarters got shot. But I’m glad to hear R.W. McQuarters is alive and doing fine!!! after the gunshot wound. R.W. McQuarters is the coolest name ever and from now on, whenever I have to sign in some place where I’d rather not use my real name, I’m signing in under R.W. McQuarters.

-Have you seen the leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama? Watch this. And then watch the remix video

-Okay, I really went off the rails there, the last two, possibly three snippets have had nothing to do with the series, time to type stuff that relates back to Bulls-Hawks

-If you want scoring, watch Lakers-Mavericks. (Or at least watch the Mavs) This series is all about REBOUNDING. If you’re a rebounding stats geek, then Hawks-Bulls is for you! Especially since there will be a ton of missed shots on both sides.

-Atlanta’s Josh Smith is very athletic and talented; when he’s motivated. But maybe he’s not always motivated. Here’s a song to dedicate to him.

Was that fair? Maybe not, but what else do you think of when you see Josh Smith. Here’s another tune for him.

Derrick Rose is going to reach TSB rarefied air by the end of this postseason. He’s getting written about as much as: Erin Andrews, Jenn Sterger, Brett Favre, Jenn Brown, Evan Turner, Demetri McCamey, Adam Burish, Patrick Kane, Ozzie Guillen, Ines Sainz and Aaron Rodgers here at The Sports Bank

-Rose was only at Memphis for one year, but you can clearly see the impact of the “dribble-drive” offense on his game. That’s where he lives. When the Bulls needed game winning baskets versus the Indiana Pacers in round one, it was Rose driving to the hole time. Likewise with the greatest Chicago highlights in game one versus the Atlanta Hawks.

-I love that the Hawks jersey simply say “ATL” now. I’m guessing Ludacris and Jermaine Dupri like that as well.

-Every time I hear Zaza Pachulia’s name, I think of Salvador Dali’s “Persistence of Memory” and I picture a melting clock dripping on him.

-Then again, I’m the same guy who thought of the Glass-Steagal act (a piece of legislation recently repealed by the American government that eradicated the firewall between investment banking and regular consumer banking, therefore precipitating, and enabling the financial meltdown of ’08) whenever I see Butler Bulldogs guard Chase Stegall.

-Can somebody tell me what exactly a Carlos Boozer does? I mean it cost $80 million to bring this contraption here, does it perform any discernible function? Like fellow TSBer Brian McCabe often points out: “Boozer’s career playoff numbers are much better than his career regular season numbers.”

Exactly, someone needs to tell #5 that. Although to be fair and balanced, he did almost get a double double despite the pain and annoyance of turf toe.

-Did you see Kyle Korver trying to play defense in the first quarter? Awwwww, wasn’t that so cute?

-Maybe Jeff Teague in place of Kirk Hinirich isn’t such a downgrade after all. Certainly not on one end of the floor. I thought it was weird when the announcers mentioned he got the game ball after game 1. And said “I didn’t know they did that in the NBA.” Me either.

-I hope there was something for you in this column, whether you prefer your analysis high-brow, middle-brow, low-brow or (my personal favorite) no brow.

Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports

He does a regular guest spot each week for Chicagoland Sports Radio.com You can follow him on Twitter @thesportsbank and Facebook

Comments

  1. Throwdown40 says

    You are soooooo gay

  2. paulmbanks says

    And the reason I’m sooooooooo gay is?

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