Bulls 103, Heat 82: Bench Mob Runs Deep, Put Miami to Sleep with the Fishes

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-What a tale of two halves. The Chicago Bulls led the Miami Heat for only a minute or two in game one of their epic NBA Eastern Conference Finals. But in the second half, they absolutely blew them out of the water. The difference was the Bench Mob, as Chicago’s reserves out-scored Miami’s pine-riders 28-15.

-And the Mob runs deep. So deep, so deep it put Miami’s butt to sleep.

-I’m loving the appearance of the Green Bay Packers logo on the United Center jumbotron, it shows up when instructing fans to boo! Good stuff.

-In case you missed it, here are Taj Gibson’s 2 nasty dunks

By Paul M. Banks

-Lebron had the nerve to throw bows at Big Ten basketball, check this out. h/t to FTR Sports

“I can definitely see points in the game when it’s not going to be fun for fans to watch if you love exciting basketball because it’s going to be offensive struggles sometimes,” James said “It’s going to be two great defensive teams [that] take pride defensively, [teams that] get more out of getting stops than they do in scoring.”

As true as that may be, he just had to go a little further:

“Someone has to score,” James said. “I don’t want it to be a Big Ten showdown out here. At some point, someone has to score.”

-Dwanye Wade, like Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, are superstars who are often voted to the those “50 sexiest people alive” lists. Two guys playing in this series who will definitely not be sniffing those lists any time soon: Chris Bosh, and especially Carlos Boozer.

-Bosh really did fit in well in Toronto, because he truly does resemble a velociraptor. He needs to be traded to Philly, so he can team with the guy who REALLY looks like a velociraptor

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-I heard a lot of DUMB-ASS Bulls fans chanting “OVER-RA-TED” (I don’t have to type it out, you know the clap and chant) after the victory. Yes, we know that ESPN whores the Miami Heat. Yes, I’m aware that almost every national expert picked the Heat, and they get all the media love, but…….THE BULLS ARE THE #1 SEED! Therefore they are RATED higher. How f—ing stupid is this subset of Bulls fans?

Did you not realize that this is game 1, in Chicago, and the higher ranked team gets home court advantage. My god, you people are too f—ing stupid to go on living.

-Video of national anthem and player intros from the United Center.

-This series is definitely being billed in the same exact manner as the 2005 college basketball national title game; “team” Illini vs. “talent” Tar Heels. Once again it’s the Land of Lincoln squad with that label. Let’s hope the outcome is different.

-Boozer made noise a couple days ago (inadvertently) by saying the Heat have 2 superstars. He was trying to give a compliment. The Bulls’ big three ended up matching their big three stride for stride in game one. However, Boozer did his best to make the man he was guarding, Chris Bosh. look MVP, and like a third star. Bosh had 30 points and nearly a double double in the first half.

-The invisible hand of the free market favored the seller very much regarding tickets. But I only went $25 markup on each ticket. However, Bulls playoff tickets are OBSCENELY OVERPRICED on face value. But the economy is so abysmal right now, one profession getting consistently thumped are ticket brokers. And I LOVE that, because ticket brokers do NOTHING, produce NOTHING, create NOTHING, contribute NOTHING, to the betterment of society. They’re not as awful as those a***holes on Wall Street, the ones who do nothing but create complex financial instruments that inflict harm on society. But they’re not much better either.

-Both are actually the slime of humanity, who lie to you every time they open their mouths. And do no legitimate service to society.

Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports

You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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