Manny’s Ban Redefines Good Wood.


By Soxman

Baseball is Life.  While extreme, this statement pretty much defines my passion for the game, my appreciation for anyone who can be successful at it, and for the rich historical tradition which has labeled it America’s Pastime.  Well, if baseball is life I guess you could say that I’m feeling a lot like the biblical character Job right about now.

Big Mac, Clemens, Barry, Raffy, A-Roid, and baseball’s latest boil, Manny.  Or is it?
That was my first reaction to learning that Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games by Major League Baseball today for testing positive for a banned performance enhancing substance.

Short of insider leaks or Manny giving MLB permission to disclose exactly what he tested positive for, the cloud of suspicion in the court of public opinion in what I believe to be baseball’s darkest era says one word: guilty.

Refusing to play because he’s unhappy with his contract, lackluster effort, promising to be good if he’s let out of his contract were all ignored by me in the past.  Having an agent who drove up ticket prices by redefining the market time and again, never bothered me.  Why?  At least he was clean. Manny said he did not take steroids and was prescribed medication by a doctor that contained a banned substance.  Really?

Now I believe in privacy, HIPPA, and who takes what (as long as it’s legal) is no one’s business.  However, when America’s pastime- the game that made you a millionaire, takes another right hook across the chin, Manny being Manny just won’t cut it.

“Recently, I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me,” Ramirez said in a statement issued by the players’ union.
“Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.”

Of course you have.  But who in the name of Shoeless Joe and Babe Ruth advised you not to say anything else right now?  Scott Boras?

Think about this.   Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez, and Mark McGwire head a long list of stars that have been implicated in the use of performance-enhancing drugs, right?

The difference?  You are arguably one of the greatest hitters of all-time and the first superstar to be suspended under the drug policy players and owners put in place seven years ago.  As performance-enhancing drugs=steroids to most of America, you should be the ambassador to the game explaining the difference.

Internet rumors have swirled that the drug prescribed by the physician was for sexual performance.  If true, let the jokes about Manny being Manny and not always having good wood begin.  It’s a lot better than being branded a cheater.

As someone created by the dollars of fans who will never see 1/125th of his annual income, Manny needs to go against the advice of those who told him to keep quiet and tell us what he took.  It’s beyond Manny Ramirez, it’s about the integrity of the game.

Manny, as we all know who your agent is, let’s give you some incentive in a language you can easily understand, money.  If it was a banned drug for sexual performance, think of the untapped market potential and thus $$$ this admission could rake in!

“The best player wearing Dodger blue, relies on this little blue pill when he can’t get good wood.”  You can pay me later Pfizer.

I would imagine it would also go a long way in helping the common man feel better about “equipment failures” as well.  You could be their hero.  This could be a marketing boom for you Manny.
Ironically, Los Angeles even renamed a section of seats in left field at Dodger Stadium “Mannywood” last year.  Are you listening to the business opportunities Scott Boras?

Honestly, at this point, if you were banned for taking a banned substance other than steroids, what’s the harm in disclosing it?  Your seat in the Hall of Fame is all you have to lose. My eyes start to water intensely as we peel back the layers on the onion that is the steroid era.  Innocent or guilty, the ball of proof is in Manny’s court to disclose.

If he refuses, I’m pulling out a statement I made once before to all records of this era:  “Kiss My Asterisk.”   It’s like being in school where the whole class is punished because the kids who stole the milk refuse to come forward.  The punishment fits the crime.

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  1. Ko’d Konerko says

    Holy crap! This is the best article I’ve read on the Manny suspension thus far. Funny, informative and true. Kick ass Soxman!

  2. Awesome article. Hilarious and great points made. You rock my Sox! Marry me!

  3. paulmbanks says

    Good job my man. It’s no longer a “witch hunt,” it’s a thoroughly corrupt poker game when all the players with biggest amount of blue chips are cheating

  4. David K. says

    are there going to be any players inducted into the Hall in ten years? seriously… Maddux, Randy Johnson, Glavine, Frank Thomas… that might be it (at least in the four seconds I could come up with a thrown together list)

  5. Mr. Anderson says

    I might not be the best hitter in the game, but at least I’m clean, and have no problem in the equiptment area- Good job Soxman. BA

  6. Shannon says

    Best article on Manny period. Loved your Soxdog post on Facebook as well. Great job man. You are the best writer I have ever read.

  7. Hilarious..but true. Have to agree, your sox dog article was one of your more powerful pieces yet. It made me cry. :(

  8. Great article!

  9. Great article, Soxman. It’s come to the point where I wonder if everyone is implicated. Are any of the players clean? It’s a real shame it’s come to that.

  10. Great article. Soxman rocks!!

  11. This puts it in a language everyone can understand. Awesome work Soxman. I want to 2nd or 3rd my sympathy on the loss of your dog. The Sox dog article on facebook was powerful and defines why there is such depth to your character and to the man behind the mask. As you say: High five.

  12. This is just fantastic. You are 100% on target with this one. also i’m among the masses. Your sox Dog article was a real tear jerker and demonstrates the heart of the perso behind the character. You rule.

  13. Billy Blast says

    Soxman awesome piece. I agree the best I’ve read on this topic. Its kinda a little Mariotti-like.

    The sox Dog article brough this 6’2, 295 lbs. man to tears as well. Very good piece with a true baseball tie-in. Anyone who has ever put a pet to sleep can relate. Bear Hug bro.

  14. Wolverine says

    Awesome job bub. Manny has felt your claws. Sox dog article even made this super hero cry almost as much as when I had to put Jean Grey down.

  15. The best damn Manny article period. I’ve read about 25 of them.

  16. Amy Lee says

    OMG Soxman! Very good piece.

    Your sox dog article on Facebook last night brought me to tears…so a passionate mad hiding behind a dark persona… you fill me soxman from the inside out.

  17. Nikki Sixx says

    Soxman this manny article is honestly the best piece I’ve read about this whole mess. Funny, spirited, yet informative. Just like you.

    However the Sox Dog piece of facebook is beyond words. It is the BEST piece you have written. And you wonder why so many people fall in love with you?

  18. Ya Ya Sox Sisterhood says

    This was very well written and as one of your first Facebook friends I must say the Sox Dog piece was beyond baseball. So heartfelt. You are an amazing man. hope to see you at a sox game soon.

  19. Mary, Mary says

    Very well done piece. I like several posters just want to say sorry about Sox Dog. You article was such a posting 2 her. You are so passionate and sensitive Soxman any woman who has your heart should count themselves lucky!

  20. Grinder Guy says

    F@#$ing A Right dude!!! This story is an A+++++++++

    The best of anything I’ve read on the web in the last 24 hours.

  21. paulmbanks says

    I hope you’ve received the sympathy card that my girlfriend mailed to the Sox Cave. She was crying when I first told her about your dog. Sorry again so much for your loss

  22. crazy Asian says

    Very good article. Funny yet true.

  23. Very well done Soxman. Me likee.

  24. B. Medina says

    Soxman!!! Hey Bro, this is an awesome article, it was informative, funny and on the money on Manny. Keep doing what your doing bro, of course I’m proud and honored to know you in a personal level.

    P.S. My prayers to you for losing Soxdog, I know how hard it must of been. As you know I have two Chihuahuas and they are my heart and soul. I’m sure that you’ll be blessed with a Soxpuppy in the future. I’m there for you bro!!

    Your friend always,
    B.Medina (a.k.a. B Nasty)

  25. Jeremiah D. says

    Very well written. You are extremely talneted in putting words in an informative and interesting manner. I laughed and got angry all at the same time. Weird eh?

  26. Soxman this is a good article even 4 a gal that does not really know baseball. Sorry about your dog. You can cry on my shoulder anytime.

  27. The best pov I’ve read or seen on tv thus far. Great job to the writer.

  28. Wow. Hilarious..sad…but true. Great perspective. I love it.

  29. prowriter0923 says

    Of course I loved the article. That kind of goes without saying. I, like any body else, definitely has an opinion on this and would like to voice it…right about now…

    I totally agree with Soxman. If you did steroids (or whatever you claim to put in your body), admit it. What I don’t understand is why Manny would do it in the first place. Obviously, pressure to be the best, enhance performance, perhaps raise those contract dollars are all perfectly good reasons why a player would take steroids.

    But why not notify team doctors of what you’re doing so you don’t have to suffer the same public embarrassment as A-Roid? Why would you take a drug that you have no idea what it could possibly be and proceed to put it in your body? Without telling any body and NOT expect it to blow up in your face at some point?

    I will probably never get an answer to any of these questions. I’m ok with that. It just boggles my mind why any player with that much to lose would be soooo incredibly stupid with how he goes about his business.

    Can I get an Oy Vey??!?!

  30. Bagel Boy says

    Agree with the other posters. Awesome Manny article by far the best on the topic and I have no idea who this Soxman guy is being from Cali. However, the bottom line is this, if you are paid $20+ million a year, and you know what substances are banned as MUTUALLY agreed to by the players union and MLB- then shame on you IDIOT for not bringing the list 2 your doc and saying…can’t have these Doc. Yes Oy Vey…

    Props to Soxman(?) for writing this. Going to pass this link to some fellow Dodgers fans.

  31. Dodger Boy says

    Got this story from a fellow Dodger fan in Cali. Leave it to a zanny dude who isn’t even a Dodger fan to put the perfect analogy to the whole Manny mess. Sadly good work. Props.

  32. paulmbanks says

    Welcome to TSB Dodger fans! pleas enjoy your stay and bookmark this page. Plenty of material here for you SoCal peeps. And please send the link on to the rest of your brethren

  33. paulmbanks says

    Wow! This is a pretty popular piece, thanks for all the great feedback

  34. Soxman wrote a great article. What more would you expect? I worship this guy.

  35. The thing I like the best about this article is that all of the baseball experts, Gammons, Olney, etc. went easy on Manny at first and this guy called it out immediately. Now today everyone is following the Soxman path. They are taking the Mannywood section down by the way.

  36. This is the first time, Soxman did not take the high road. Manny must of stuck a nerve ….. My brotha take one his blue pills and call me in 20..peace

  37. Hell yeah. A little more abrasive than Soxmans normal nice-guy approach but I respect it. Enough is truly enough already. I give it two socks up. :)

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