The United States of America defeated England yesterday, just two days before the Fourth of July- MERICA! Yes, Alex Morgan scored the game winning goal for the U.S. Women’s National Team as they defeated England 2-1 in the Women’s World Cup semi-finals.
To celebrate her game winning scoring strike Alex Morgan then did a pinkie in the air tea sipping gesture, thus mocking Great Britain and their national drink. This all occurred at the same time that the outrage du jour of the moment involved gym shoes with a colonial flag on them. In other words, it was patriotism, nationalism and jingoism overload; especially so for a Tuesday.
Party like it’s 1781, and you’re at Yorktown, Virginia.
If your patriotism erection for the flag lasts more than four hours, consult a doct….nah, if it lasts more than four hours, then only one of two scenarios is possible- you are Toby Keith; or Lee Greenwood. To make the event sweeter, Piers Morgan wished death upon himself, and looked as arrogant as Lord General Charles Cornwallis did before suffering defeat at the hands of the Americans.
Alex is the superior Morgan and Piers (for the zillionth time) said something he should not have.
Since the Alex Morgan trolling/showboating/flexing/flossing/mocking whatever you want to call it, has been deemed so “controversial,” here are some of the more interesting and colorful reactions I found on twitter.
Starting with our own, cuz that’s how we roll here.
if she scores again, she must do a Wallace and Gromit themed celebration. #USA #USAvENG #ENG #Lionesses #ENGUSA https://t.co/8H314Q3Wxd
— Paul M. Banks (@PaulMBanks) July 2, 2019
A refreshing take from the mother country:
How the fuck is Alex Morgan’s “sipping tea” celebration distasteful? We’re a nation of pisstakers, we call each other cunts for a laugh, the majority of the UK prides itself on “banter” but when an American footballer sips tea after scoring we all cry on Twitter. Lighten up ffs.
— JaackMaate (@Jaack) July 3, 2019
How about “Captain Morgan”?
Remember when Alex Morgan got kicked out of Epcot Center for drunken, disorderly conduct?
Everyone freaking out about the tea sipping celebration is literally ignorant of how gully Alex Morgan is. My girl got KICKED OUT OT EPCOT and was yelling “don’t you know who I am I won a World Cup” the whole time pic.twitter.com/XekKaaAWJa
— katherine ? (@kv_tucker) July 3, 2019
Piers Morgan schadenfreude level: peak
the RTs and Likes of this 6/5 year old tweet are rolling over like an odometer right now…. https://t.co/Ma0u2HDQdG
— Tab Bamford (@The1Tab) July 2, 2019
A close-up:
Alex Morgan at the Boston Tea Party, 1773. Oil on canvas. pic.twitter.com/rRUU8ASagd
— ??? (@johnstons08) July 2, 2019
And I think we’ll just end it on this one, since this seems like the perfect way to close out:
DEAR ENGLISH PEOPLE GETTING UPSET OVER ALEX MORGAN'S GOAL CELEBRATION, YOU DON'T OWN TEA. YOU STOLE IT FROM PLACES YOU COLONIZED.
SO, RELAX BECAUSE EMPHATIC GOAL CELEBRATIONS ARE A FAR LESS CRIME THAN BRUTAL COLONIALISM.
THANKS.
*sips chai*— Shireen Footybedsheets Ahmed (@_shireenahmed_) July 2, 2019
Paul M. Banks runs The Sports Bank.net, which is partnered with News Now. Banks, the author of “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry,” regularly appears on WGN CLTV and co-hosts the “Let’s Get Weird, Sports” podcast on SB Nation.
You can follow Banks, a former writer for NBC Chicago.com and Chicago Tribune.com on Twitter here and his cat on Instagram at this link.