There are some stadium songs that are just overkilled, or merely annoying. Then there are certain tunes that make you wish homicide against the music director was legal. Some of these “jams” are supposed to make you happy and care-free, to “get into it,” but that’s kind of tough to do when it’s something you’ve heard so many times that is makes you feel like your ears are bleeding.
The list that follows is the evil identical twin (Because both of these lists are evil, it’s not an evil twin and good twin) of the Five Most Annoying Stadium Sound Effects, which we will publish tomorrow. LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem,” which the band itself apologized for and then broke up, is in a category all its own. It’s probably more overplayed than all ten of these combined.
Not to mention that it spawned such a horrifying knockoff, as posted above.
10. “Strike it Up” Black Box
It’s amazing how a song from 31 years ago can be so over-played! It just never died out, like most one-hit wonders do. Actually, they’re a house music two-hit wonder, as they also scourged the Earth with that “do de do, OWWW. de do do do de do do OW!” song; officially entitled “Everybody, Everybody.” Yes, the United Center’s music selection is brutal.
9. “Everybody Dance Now” C&C Music Factory (or C&C “Music Manufacturing Plant,” as Borat called it)
The Simpsons parodied this song twice: over a decade ago. So didn’t we realize it needed to be retired many years ago? Ditto for “Get Ready for This!” Or anything by 2 Unlimited for that matter.
8. Y.M.C.A. Village People
This jam is older than I am, so how annoyingly over-played was it when it first came out? When it was at the height of its popularity? That’s a scary thought because it’s horribly cliche today. Yes, I know many consider this a timeless classic, and to some extent that is true. But again, no matter how good something is, when it’s overkilled, it’s overkilled.
7. Anything else on Jock Jams Vol 1
Like I said, the United Center “dee-jay” needs to be canned this very second. All they do is play shopworn crapola off an album designed to be cliche.
6. “Bad Romance” Lady Gaga
Need to make a hit song? Just take the last part of your stage name, rhyme it with troglodytic gibberish, and presto- there’s your refrain. Pretty soon every marching band in the nation will pick it up.
5. “Poker Face” Lady Gaga
I understand why every college band picked up her music right away. Because it’s so easy for anyone to learn. Bummer her background music is so simplistic, because her voice is truly one-in-a-million.
4. “Dynamite” Taio Cruz
I think music writers will look back on the early 2010s as the time when every R&B, hip-hop song was performed by someone who sounded like they had a voice box on them. A bunch of T-Pain wannabes. Interesting concept there- anyone can get a recording contract, if you’re just going to alter their voice anyway. This song embodies the “era” perfectly.
3. “Let’s Get it Started” and “Boom Boom Pow” Black Eyed Peas
I think I’m going to throw up in my mouth just from thinking about this. These songs are on albums owned by people who actually despise the concept of music.
2. “All I do is Win” DJ Khaled
What makes this song such an especially trite platitude is that YOU KNOW it was written/composed for one purpose only: to be the MOST ANNOYING OVERPLAYED stadium song ever. Khaled is beyond overrated, And yet….
1. “I gotta Feeling” Black Eyed Peas
There it is. I just threw up on my shoes. This horrible song is Pavlovian to me.
Paul M. Banks is the Founding Editor of The Sports Bank. He’s also the author of “Transatlantic Passage: How the English Premier League Redefined Soccer in America,” and “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry.”
He currently contributes to Ravens Wire, part of the USA Today SMG’s NFL Wire Network and the Internet Baseball Writers Association of America. His past bylines include the New York Daily News, Sports Illustrated, Chicago Tribune and the Washington Times. You can follow him on Linked In and Twitter.