TSB.net Bowl Picks Part I: Really Lame Bowls

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By Paul M. Banks, David K. and Peter Christian

EagleBank Bowl: Wake Forest vs. Navy

David K.: Navy… without throwing a single pass

Paul M. Banks: Navy- Long live the triple option and the QB with the 35 syllable name that I can’t pronounce!

Peter Christian: Navy – They already played and Navy won. This pick pretty much makes itself.

New Mexico Bowl: Colorado State vs. Fresno State

DK: Fresno State- this bowl should be abolished

PMB: FSU- no one actually watches this thing, right?

PC: Fresno St – Who gets excited to go to New Mexico? I drove through it last December and it was colder than it was in Minnesota.

magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl: Memphis vs. South Florida

DK: South Florida- PS magicJack is some sort of long-distance calling network

PMB:USF-  Memphis has football now? Really! I’ll take los toros in the “Magic the Gathering Bowl” or whatever

PC: South Florida – David is half right, magicJack is an internet phone network.

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl: BYU vs. Arizona

DK: BYU- Peter and I used get hammered a bar in Eau Claire called the Pioneer

PMB: Zona- Max Hall is really good! But he just plays QB at BYU, he doesn’t  play defense or block.

PC: BYU – Not only will Arizona and their ugly unis get smashed in this game, I will be recalling hazy memories of getting smashed at both the Pioneer and in Las Vegas.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: Boise State vs. TCU

DK: Boise State wins the most ridiculous bowl name

PMB: BSU- the marketing and promotions team really dropped the ball on the naming rights deal here

PC: Boise State – This will be one of the best games during the 2008-09 Bowl Season. Guaranteed.

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Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame

DK: Hawaii beats the front butt

PMB: UH- Perfect example of why ND receives a double standard; perfectly complementing the double chins of Charlie Weiss. Ok, that wasn’t fair…more like quintuple chins.

PC: Hawaii – Is there a chance Charlie Weis goes to the beach and gets harpooned because he gets mistaken for a beached whale? I say yes. 73% chance in fact.

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Motor City Bowl: Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan

DK: Central Michigan- Ford Field will be one-tenth full

PMB: FAU- They still have this thing? Why? I think I should lead an activist movement to liberate the two poor football teams subjected to the oppression of playing in this game each winter

PC: Central Michigan – This bowl game was one of the most exciting last season, not so much this year.
Meineke Car Care Bowl: West Virginia vs. North Carolina

DK: West Virginia as an FU to Rich Rodriguez

PMB: UNC- in possibly the worst corporate sellout name of a sporting event in history. Well maybe the Carquest Bowl (remember that?) is worse

PC: North Carolina – Pat White auditions for the Wildcat formation in the NFL and falls flat.

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Champs Sports Bowl: Wisconsin vs. Florida State

DK: FSU- because Wisconsin shouldn’t even be in a bowl

PMB: FSU- DB Samari Rolle is a Rhodes Scholar and future brain surgeon to the developing world’s population; he’s too important for a crappy bowl game like this.

PC:  FSU – Wisconsin should have lost to Cal Poly. Enough Said.

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Emerald Bowl: Miami (Fl) vs. California
DK: the U- I personally don’t mind that phrase by the way

PMB: Cal- the U are a bunch of thugz!!!! I’ll take the Berkley hippies in this one.

PC: Miami – How far has the football program at THE U fallen to be playing Cal in its own backyard in a bowl game 4 days before New Year’s Day?

Independence Bowl: Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech

DK: La. Tech- good to see the Independence Bowl hasn’t sold out

PMB: : NIU- even though I had no idea they were even going to a bowl this year; and I live in Chicago

PC: Louisiana Tech – Not a good sign for the Independence Bowl when both conferences it is affiliated with don’t have enough bowl eligible teams to send to the game. I would wager this is the least watched bowl game in the history of television.
Papajohns.com Bowl: Rutgers vs. NC State

DK: Rutgers- random note: Papajohns is an instant laxative

PMB: N.C. St.- random note: the last time I had Papa Johns I got sick enough to swear I’m never having it again. They are the White Castle of Pizza…in every single aspect of their business

PC: Rutgers – random note: I once got into a 30 minute verbal argument with a Papa Johns manager and told him he should question his life path.
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Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl: Maryland vs. Nevada

DK: Maryland- isn’t a Roady a beer you have while driving somewhere?

PMB: Fear the Turtle- The only thing I know about Roady’s I learned from Wayne and Garth

PC: Maryland – The blue turf in Boise will get bored during this game.

Texas Bowl: Rice vs. Western Michigan

DK: Rice- the NFL Network has to be pissed it gets stuck with this game

PMB: Rice- Nice road game for Western Michigan. See, this is what’s wrong with the bowl system…well, one of many things!

PC: Rice – This will be the highest scoring bowl game (but no one will watch)


Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: Houston vs. Air Force

DK: Armed Forces, Helicopter… Air Force obviously

PMB: Houston- just to be difficult. If this was renamed the NASA Astronomy Bowl, then the Houston Cougars would be favored.

PC: Air Force – David K. stole my joke, but if there was ever a rooted interest to give a game to one team…


Brut Sun Bowl: Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh

DK: Pittsburgh- Brut is the best advertiser the Sun Bowl could find?  Sad.

PMB: Beavers- I would make a sexual joke about the mascots in this game, but it’s Pitt Panthers, not Cougars unfortunately.

PC: Pittsburgh – Maybe after this game Shady McCoy will finally be household name. Wait, what’s that? This is the Sun Bowl? Oh, nevermind then.


Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl: Boston College vs. Vanderbilt

DK: BC- due to their head coach being a former Packers offensive coordinator

PMB: Vanderbilt wins another bowl game that’s a de facto home game…btw, why the hell does a football game’s name start with the word GAYLORD!!!???

PC: Vandy – The Commodores reward for their first bowl since 1982? Staying home to play BC.


Fedex Orange Bowl: Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech

DK: Cincinnati- what an awful BCS game

PMB: Hokies- This would be a bad Elite Eight game in b-ball, it’s horrendously bad in football

PC: Virginia Tech – Worst BCS match-up ever. Why do the Big East and ACC still get automatic BCS bids again?


International Bowl: Buffalo vs. Connecticut

DK: Buffalo- I’d hire Turner Gil if I was an AD with a coaching vacancy at a big conference school

PMB: Buf- Is this a Division II playoff? Division I-AA? What is this?

PC: UConn – Remember a few years back when the media slammed the NFL for putting the Super Bowl in Detroit in January? Having a bowl game in Toronto in January is pretty much the same thing except there won’t be any media there to cover the game.


GMAC Bowl: Ball State vs. Tulsa

DK: Ball State- I hate that this bowl game is so late in the picture

PMB: Ball State- Don’t let this game’s lateness fool you into thinking that it’s meaningful. It’s no more important than the Motor City Bowl.

PC: Tulsa – Even though this violates many Bowl Game principles (played after Jan. 1, played in a nondescript location, etc.) this should be a fun game to watch (except that nobody will).

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Comments

  1. A friend of mine recently just had it out with a Papa John’s employee as well. They are a surly bunch!

  2. According to the Wisconsin Alumni Association, the organization didn’t even bother to organize bowl packages that offer airfare. THEY are so convinced their alumni won’t travel, that for the first time in 3 decades, the opposing team’s fans may outnumber the Badger fans in FL. King Barry’s reign is over and so is the bowl legacy, folks.

  3. Yet another example of why we’re in such dire need for a playoff system and postseason reform. Its impossible to find a flight to San Antonio for under $400 for the Alamo Bowl…that’s almost half a G! don’t think its worth it

  4. Ghost in the Machine says

    Hey, how come Poulan Weed-Eater doesn’t sponsor the Independence Bowl anymore?

    I think you guys forgot the Chick-fil-A Bowl, or is that not crappy enough. God knows their food sure is.

  5. Yeah, they are the chicken version of white castle. The game features two good programs, so that made it to the serviceable bowl games category

  6. Peter Christian says

    Hey Paul, BTW the Florida State Rhodes Scholar is named Myron Rolle not Samari (who plays for the Baltimore Ravens).

  7. Good catch! that’s an embarassing mistake by me.

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