Last year, my kitty question to then Nebraska Coach Bo Pelini ended up the lead in every national publication’s Big Ten Media Day coverage. I’m not just #humblebragging here, I was genuinely shocked that a topic so trivial would become 2014’s most compelling Big Ten Media Day storyline. People (like myself) love cats, but the greater point here is: very little, if any, actual news is made at Big Ten Media Day.
Don’t expect to learn anything watching it on television tomorrow and Friday. Any time you televise a press conference live, in sports or in news, you make that presser even more pointless than a general news conference.
That’s because an already hyper-managed, corporatized atmosphere becomes even more guarded and vanilla when it’s televised live. I’m not saying you shouldn’t still watch it on Big Ten Network this week. I’m just saying that you’ll only be entertained if you watch it and then follow the smart alec remarks made by sportswriters in attendance on Twitter.
Big Ten Media Day is a great litmus test to see who’s worth following or not.
You’ll see lots of reporters Tweeting the exact same quote. Almost all of these people are not very good at doing their jobs most of the time.
However, when you see sportswriters giving instant analysis and making jokes of the generic platitudes being espoused- that’s when the fun begins. These media people are doing it right.
At almost every press conference of this sort my brain does this:
The roundtable interviews can often be very worthwhile though. It’s really important that I mention that. These sessions are usually a zillion times more productive than the televised ballroom sessions.
Anyway, here are some things to look for this Big Ten Media Day. First off, not many people ask Kirk Ferentz questions for some bizarre reason. (he’s actually one of the better soundbites on dias) and he’s always dismissed well before his allotted 15 minutes at the podium are up. It happens every year.
Also, “I’m excited about the season. I can’t wait to get started” is to this event what “I’m only a 5 out of 10, but lots of men want to have sex with me anyway” is to an episode of ‘Inside Amy Schumer.’
Additionally, “senior leadership/leadership council/leadership traits/valued leadership” will be to Thirsday and Friday what childish bad boy complexes are to the songwriting of Taylor Swift.
Obviously, we’re not the only ones who feel this way. Our good friends over at Hammer and Rails, SB Nation’s Purdue Boilermakers community have got you covered for Big Ten Media Day. They created a Big Ten Media Day BINGO! game for you. Actually, they have several different Bingo cards for you to print up and play along with at home.
The cards include 75 total topics and phrases. Read and download at this link.
Here’s our Big Ten East predictions and projections
Here’s our Big Ten West predictions and projections
Paul M. Banks owns, operates and writes The Sports Bank.net, which is part of the FOX Sports Engage Network. Banks, a former writer for the Washington Times, currently contributes to the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. He also appears regularly on numerous talk radio stations all across the country.
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