VOTE NOW! Anti-Bracket Rachel Nichols Regional

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Rachel Nichols

We have a first in The Sports Bank’s Anti-Bracket (formerly known as Douchebracket) history as a team was forced to forfeit their opening round game.  In the end, the bracket almost played out as expected with only one seed crashing the party in the Rachel Nichols Regional.  Now we need your help to cast your cote to see who will represent this regional in the Final Four that also features the Ty Cobb Regional, Kardashian Regional, and Milton Bradley Regional.

By: David Kay

REGIONAL SEMIFINAL I:
#1 Bruce Pearl
Pearl won his opening round game because the #16 seed (Bruce Pearl Still Having a Job) is no longer true, thus forcing it to forfeit the game.  Pearl then owned the #8 seed Flopping like he owns a spray tan.  Pearl is well aware that all his recruiting violations will probably one day cause all the wins from this season to be erased, but he is all about winning now and enters this weekend as a force to be reckoned with.

VS.

ines sainz butt#4 Ines Sainz
Sainz is by the far the least talented team in this regional but has used her ass-ets to distract her opponents and barely advance to Sweet 16.  Rumor has it she threatened to accuse the referees of sexual harassment if it did not throw the opening round game against the #13 seed (Cold Weather in Dallas During Super Bowl Week) in her favor.  Coincidentally enough, the refs just ran out of the arena at the game’s conclusion despite there being a controversial ending that warranted a monitor review.  The #12 seed (Rap Songs About Teams) stood no chance against Sainz in the second round because, well, we all know how rappers love big booties.

REGIONAL SEMIFINAL II:
#6 Online Blog Commentoes
Without question, this team had the toughest road to the Sweet 16.  They fought the #11 Seed “People Who Tell Me the Scores of College Basketball Games” to a triple overtime thriller that ended with a buzzer beater.  Then they upset the number three “Lockouts” in a battle of two teams who can just never seem to be happy or pleased with whatever is happening.  Shout-out to all our commenters on TSB, but for the most part, these people are absolute idiots who hide behind a username and bring zero rationale to the topic at hand.

VS.

ronnie sammi jersey shore

#2 Ronnie and Sammi’s Relationship
Despite being the most disgruntled team in the tourney, Ronnie and Sammi somehow managed to coexist long enough to move onto the Sweet 16 even though they broke up 74 times during their two games.  Maybe it was all Ron Ron Juice they drank at halftime… Whatever the case may be, Ronnie and Sammi proved to be way douchier than #10 seed Dan Gilbert, who upset number seven “The Decision” in the opening round.  Now they hope they don’t get BUSTED and can punch their ticket to the Final Four.

Be sure to vote in our other Regionals:
The Ty Cobb Regional
The Kardashian Regional


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Comments

  1. paulmbanks says

    hahahahahaha I forgot about how much I hate rap songs about teams. all of them suck.

    but they just couldn’t handle the “big booty” hahaha

  2. I hate to do but the Elite 8 game is gonig to be the 1 vs 2 senario.

    As for making the Final Four – I give it to Sam & Ronnie’s Relationship. Now with Pearl fired, he will not annoy me or anyone else for a little while. During this time, Sam and Ronnie will break up 74 more times. While that yelling takes place, Ronnie will get fired up about Sam being a douche and punch Pearl right in the face.

    Now there could be a last second shot made by Pearl if he gets hired for a job right before the decision on this final four is made.

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