If you choose to imbibe off of this, please drink responsibly. If you create a Bingo card derived from what follows, then please be responsible in your gaming. Just three games remain in the college basketball season, and if you’ll be tuning in, then this is a good list of what you’ll see and hear.
Jim Nantz, Grant Hill, Bill Raftery and Tracy Wolfson will be announcing the Final Four and National Championship game, with a three hour, yes THREE HOURS pregame show hosted by Ernie Johnson. He’ll be joined by talking heads Charles Barkley, Clark Kellogg and Kenny Smith, along with Seth Davis and Candace Parker.
So without further ado, let’s dive right in. We’ll start with the “general” category, then move on to the team specific.
“A Final Four/March Madness/college basketball season unlike any other”
A mention that this Final Four/March Madness is all the more sweeter/better because we didn’t have it last year
Charles Barkley gives analysis that seems brilliant to idiots, but is rather basic and obvious to anyone who paid attention this season
Kenny the Jet Smith mispronounces a player’s name
At least a dozen Lily from AT&T native advertising/sponsored content segments
At least a dozen Lily from AT&T traditional style commercials to supplement what’s listed above
Annoying ad with the guy rocking out in his convertible to that really stupid, horribly awful “you got the looks, I got the brains, let’s make lots of money”
Annoying ad with woman dropping her phone to a scatting soundtrack.
Really annoying ad with that horribly autotuned garbage song “bag alert, major baaaaaaaag alert.”
At least 10 Wendy’s and/or car insurance ads.
The undefeated narrative/graphic on screen listing the previous undefeated national champions
Allusion to how Mark Few and company “don’t focus on going undefeated”
Bad pun off of Few’s name
“Underdogs” pun making reference to the school’s small size/presence in a smaller conference
Some type of analysis that uses the term “mid-major”
11 is a magic number, referencing their seeding and the number of titles the school has won
John Wooden, Bruins teams of the 1970s reference
Blue blood program fallen from grace, but has now regained their elite status narrative
Pac-12 dominating the early rounds of this tournament narrative
Reminder that Johnny Juzang transferred from Kentucky
“From First Four to Final Four”/2011 VCU reference
Reference to UH being Nantz’s alma mater
Passing mention of Kelvin Sampson’s previous transgressions, scandals, probations at every coaching stop of his career, but treated with kid gloves and spin.
Allusion to what is mentioned above, but framed in a “redemption story” arc
“Lone Star state showdown” “everything is bigger in texas”
Passing mention of Baylor athletics’ recent scandals but treated with kid gloves
Allusion to what is mentioned above, but framed in a “redemption story” arc.
It’s pointed out what an awesome name Flo Thamba has
References to Baylor Final Four drought ending
“Texas sized _______”
If you are betting on the rest of March Madness this season make sure to check out BetQL. They have NCAA Tournament picks, moneyline picks, over under picks, for every single game every day.
Paul M. Banks runs The Sports Bank, partnered with News Now. Banks, the author of “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry,” has regularly appeared in WGN, Sports Illustrated, Chicago Tribune and SB Nation. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.
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