By Peter Christian

thecallouts@gmail.com

follow Peter Christian on Twitter

follow TheCallOuts on Twitter

I know I promised a 2nd part to last week’s edition but a crashed computer and a week of Halloween preparations turned Part 2 into Part never. I apologize. It won’t happen this week. Mostly because I’m sticking with just one part and because I’ve got another busy week ahead of me.

This week I enjoyed: Favre’s Return to Lambeau, Duane Bennett’s performance against Michigan State, Iowa outscoring Indiana in the 4th quarter, the Return of the NBA, Jonny Flynn’s debut, Chase Utley’s home runs and Cliff Lee’s brilliance.

FOX
I know you are probably expecting that FOX get called out for its horrific commentators and appalling coverage of the NFL and the World Series. While those are both excellent reasons to call out the network that I still associate as being built on the foundation of “Married: With Children,” “Cops” and “The Simpsons,” that’s not it.

Nope, I’m aiming this call-out right at the executive who gave the green light to start production on “The Wanda Sykes Show.”

Every time I see a promotion for the new show I get really confused. First, I ask myself, “Didn’t Wanda Sykes already fail at having her own show?” then I wonder, “who finds Wanda funny?” before finally settling on, “and this is what’s wrong with network television.”

I know some people have probably laughed at two or three of Sykes’ jokes over the years, but when was the last time you heard someone say, “that Wanda Sykes, man she is the funniest!”?

So in a few months when FOX pulls the plug on what is sure to be a terribly dreadful show, remember, I told you so, but everyone knew it to begin with.

Joe Buck/Tim McCarver
I’m still going to call out the most annoying high profile booth combo in baseball history because, honestly, who wouldn’t? I love baseball. I love watching baseball. For the most part, I can drown out what the commentators are saying with my own analysis and thoughts on the game. Yet, for some reason, when these two buffoons start talking about good baseball teams it makes my ears perk up and shortly thereafter, my brain starts to melt. As annoyed as I was with Chip Caray’s obsession with things getting fisted during the Divisional Series, I realized I’d take that hilarious distraction over the ridiculous and idiotic things that Joe Buck and Tim McCarver say during the course of a baseball game. Whether it’s McCarver making up things that don’t exist (a nano-inch?) or Buck slurping up every action that Derek Jeter does as if he is the Greek God of baseball (he isn’t), I find myself being drawn away from the action of the usually exciting and tense games to yell at them. Of course, it was topped off over the weekend after the completion of either game 3 when after a commercial break the camera opened up to the pair in the booth and I got the disturbing feeling that Buck was hitting on McCarver and Tim was eating it up. I was so revolted. I would have felt more comfortable watching my grandparents make out than having that scene etched in my memory. And yet FOX, keeps trotting the duo out every fall. It’s as if they like their viewers to have the taste of battery acid in their mouths after watching their broadcast.

Thom Brennaman
Let me start with the obvious: why the douchey, pompous spelling of the name? Did you want people to see that spelling and beat you up for your lunch money?

OK, now to the meat and potatoes. I was initially very excited that for what FOX had made its biggest regular season game of the year (aptly so) that due to the World Series, Joe Buck wouldn’t be able to fawn over Brett Favre for 3+ hours and Brennaman was his replacement. Then Thom started talking. He couldn’t have had less emotion about the game. He spoke as if this was a meaningless game of Parcheesi between two friendly nursing homes. During a play which should have been his apex from an excitement standpoint (Percy Harvin’s leaping catch and subsequent run into the end zone to give the Vikings a 24-3 lead), Brennaman gave a ho-hum call about the catch and a yawn inducing description of Harvin’s run after the catch being made possible because 3 Packers defenders collided.

After that play I wondered why Brennaman was even a commentator at all. Gus Johnson would have killed to call that play. Instead Thom turned himself into a regular Joe Buck clone and gave no respect to the play by not getting jazzed by a big time play (Remember David Tyree’s catch? Buck sounded more interested in a stale peanut he saw on the floor than that catch). I was even more baffled when I remembered how Brennaman got excited about Percy Harvin’s long kick off return that DIDN’T go for a TD and asked, “How good is Percy Harvin going to be?” Wasn’t that play a perfect answer to the question he asked earlier in the game? Shouldn’t he have mentioned that question and said, “That, is how good Percy Harvin is!”? Wait, sorry, that would have been far too logical… I should have known better.

Hank Aaron Award
Earlier in the summer when I was watching certain people debate that Joe Mauer wasn’t the AL MVP, it was mentioned that as the best hitter he should be given the Hank Aaron Award because that is what that award recognizes. My thought was that he should get both because, let’s be honest, he is the league’s best hitter AND the most valuable player. Yet somehow the morons over at Major League Baseball decided to let the fans vote for the award. Did they not know it was just gonna be a popularity contest among the stupidest of stupid baseball fans? Why would they tarnish Hank Aaron’s name and the award that has his name by turning it into a joke? Why on earth would you trust that the idiot fans that voted at MLB.com would give it to truly deserved it? Have you seen who the fans vote into the All-Star game?

So Derek Jeter gets the award because he’s overrated and because the people that vote are impressionable ingrates that believe that Jeter is amazing because announcers like Joe Buck keep telling them they are, whereas a player that led the league in batting average, on base percentage and slugging percentage doesn’t get an accolade he deserves because MLB wanted to boost their website traffic? Just so we’re clear, Jeter led the league in exactly ZERO offensive categories, only beat Mauer in TWO offensive categories (Hits -21 more in 111 more at bats & stolen bases). I’m not even being a homer here, I’m just sticking with logic, Jeter deserved this award even less than Obama deserved the Nobel. If Jeter had any respect for the award and the name of Hank Aaron he would’ve given the award to Mauer himself. Instead he kept it to show off to Minka Kelly and I’m left here to tell MLB and every person that voted for Jeter to shove their face into a woodchipper.

Honorable Mentions: Minnesota Timberwolves, David Kahn, Mark Teixeira, Larry Johnson, Oakland Raiders, St. Louis Rams vs. Detroit Lions, Ryan Howard, Wes from “The Ruins” and Ken Rosenthal

If you have a nomination for a call-out, please send them to thecallouts@gmail.com

Possibly Related Posts:

• The Call Outs: MLB Umpires and Beyond
• The Call-Outs
• The Call-Outs 5-12-10
• The Call Outs
• The Call-Outs 2-12

>

Trackback Post