“Shameless self-promotion edition….oh, wait that’s every edition!”

By Paul M. Banks

-Check out Soxman’s clip in the bastion of intellectual enlightenment that is the Chicago Tribune Red Eye…Today’s edition, page 15.

http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/media/acrobat/2008-06/39568385.pdf

-The last time I mentioned the Red Eye in public I was at Tripoli Tap, a Boston themed sports bar here in Chicago. I was watching the AFC Title game there and I was told that I would be in the Fives again if the Patriots were to advance to the Super Bowl. As the final seconds ticked away I exclaimed “Hooray! I’m going to be in the Red Eye again.” The waitress responded by telling me “Yeah, I’m going to be in Hustler again!” I did not check to find out if she was being serious or not.

-And check out the props to SICA in my NBC5.com biography. Street Team “About” page, third from the top.  http://www.nbc5.com/streetteam/index.html

-Whoever did this prank, signing me (with the site’s email) up for Match.com…that’s pretty funny! Keep the hi-jinks coming, but do you think that the all-time Illini career TD pass leader likes the fact that you are using his name in vain?

Registration Information
 
Here is your Membership Information:
User Name: kittner_k change
Password: ******
Birthdate: 10/24/1982
Gender: male
Email: info@sportsandpopculturebank.com

-By the way, Kurt Kittner was born sometime in 1980, not 1982 and I love the fact that match.com has already sent me a long list of matches in my area when you consider…MY PROFILE IS ENTIRELY BLANK. Wow what integrity that company has, their “matches” are so in-depth and legitimate!

-In keeping with the dating theme check out Real Chicago cover story. The anonymous single in the city survey features all anonymous responses. I have one for each question. See if you can figure out which response is mine in each set. I was out with a lovely young woman this weekend who went 5/7 in her responses…which was impressive, but one answer is just totally obvious. http://www.therealchicago.org/0304upfront.htm
 

London Calling

This email that I received last week conveys just how “huge I am in the UK….” (I can’t even walk down the street in Liverpool!)

“I am a mad NFL fan from London, England. In September I will be embarking on a world record breaking NFL trip, by going to 35 NFL games during the 2008 regular season. I have just sold my apartment, leaving my job and leaving my beautiful girlfriend behind in London to go on this 17 week mission to find the best NFL fans out there. I will be writing a blog about the trip, then a book afterwards. I was wondering if you would have any ideas for this trip. I am looking for the great fans out there to meet at the tailgate.”

-Yeah, I think I have enough juice with the type of NFL fans he’s looking for. I “fancy” going to that Bears-Packers game in December, it would be “major.” I’m sorry, I haven’t been to the U.K. since 2002, so my British-English isn’t that great right now. Check out his plan and learn more about his blog here: Adamsfootballtrip.com

 

“I’ll tell you what I want what I really really want” a 1998 Ginger Spice shagging. 

-Is Kimbo Slice the greatest name in the history of anything? Ever?  The Internet king of MMA made his primtetime debut on Saturday night and it was a fun fight to watch. For a more in-depth feature describing and debunking the myths surrounding the growth of the sport
 
http://sports.yahoo.com/mma/news?slug=dd-mmamyths052908&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
 
Mixed martial arts is a haven for white trash.

“This is perhaps the most egregious stereotype of them all. If anything, one can make a convincing argument that the industry-leading UFC is among the most internationally diverse offerings on the American sporting scene.
-Now the “white trash haven” myth, that’s just silly because everyone knows that demographic is reserved for Chicago White Sox fans like myself and my friends

-Last week I talked extensively about Deadspin’s Will Leitch stealing the show on the “Costas Now” sports media special. This week I want to mention how I finished I just finished reading his book “God Save the Fan,” and how he closes the book with a fan glossary. He goes through all the major league teams and gives a funny generality of how the typical fan of that team is perceived. Let’s do the Chicago run-down

Cubs: In the dark of night, when all alone, can’t help but admit to being secretly happier that the Cubs haven’t won a World Series in a hundred years because young postcollegiate women love the whole “loser” thing. Would beat Steve Bartman’s ass if given the opportunity. Currently doing a keg stand.

Bears: Ditka-themed Underoos aside, they’ve mostly made their peace these days with the 1985 team, focusing instead on Brian Urlacher, a monster made even more frightening by the fact he once dated Paris Hilton (and was involved in a paternity suit with…Michael Flatley!) Have had just about enough of Rex Grossman’s shit though!

White Sox: Knows that they’ll always be the second franchise in town in an ugly stadium in a lousy neighborhood, but after that World Series, doesn’t really care much anymore. Feels Ozzie Guillen thinks pretty straight for a Mexican.

Bulls: His collection of old Jordan posters is in storage at suburban home, which was bought with a girl he met ten years ago at a Cubs game and is just down the street from his parents house….
….it goes on further, but I didn’t really find it to be even remotely accurate and not especially funny. He didn’t do the NHL by the way.

-This is probably the funniest posting I’ve ever read from the Thrillist ever. Note the Ronnie Woo Woo and Cincinnati Bengals jokes. What a surprise that an organization focused on crime started in Baltimore!

“Chicago might be gentrifying, but that doesn’t mean a wrong turn won’t end with your lifeless body inspiring a plot for a Law & Order episode (which you can only pray won’t be Special Victims Unit). Check out what’s bad in every ‘hood, with SpotCrime.com.

A Baltimore-based watchdog group dedicated to cataloging urban mayhem, SC presents fun-to-read maps of crime data, 90% of which comes from police sources, and 10% from questionable local news sources, e.g., blogs, and Ronnie Woo Woo. The scary’s visible from three to 24 hours after the crime’s reported and filterable by date range, time of day, and type (shootings, assault, vandalism, etc), or you can select “all” to see when the Bengals are in town.”

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