Welcome to the third annual NCAA Tournament Championship Drinking Game, one of our favorite articles every year here at The Sports Bank. If you missed our first two editions, you can check the 2009 Michigan State vs. North Carolina version and last year’s Butler vs. Duke one.
Even if you do not have a rooting interest in tonight’s game between Butler and UConn, invite some friends over, buy a heck of a lot of booze, follow our drinking rules, and it will be as much fun as if your own team was playing.
Our lawyer insists we add the following: The Sports Bank is not responsible for anyone dumb enough to actually try this and the harm to his/her body that would certainly occur if this game was played. If you are idiotic enough to attempt keeping pace with this game, please have your local emergency room on stand-by and do not drink and drive. Thank you.
By: David Kay and Peter Christian
Every time one of the following happens; take the required amount of drinks:
If it is brought up that Jim Calhoun is twice as old as Brad Stevens:
Oldest and youngest people in the room have to do body shots off each other
Any “dog fight” reference by Jim Nantz:
Drink a beer out of a bowl and feel free to share with your pooch
If Jim Nantz mentions the Butler mascot, Blue 2:
Drink something blue until you turn blue. You’ll thank us later.
If Clark Kellogg laughs at a dumb Jim Nantz comment:
Spit beer in the person to your left’s face and laugh hysterically.
If Charles Barkley says something intelligent:
Chug a bottle of Everclear (don’t worry, it won’t happen.)
If Shaka Smart or VCU’s Cinderella run is mentioned:
Slam a PBR tall boy (since Shaka is a Wisconsin native)
Any veiled comment about the Nate Miles/UConn scandal:
Champagne shower for the shadiest dude in the room… you know, to get the dirt off him.
If the fact the UConn women lost in the Final Four gets mentioned:
Drink a glass of Zinfandel and make sure your pinky is flailing in the air while you hold the wine glass
Whenever the BW3’s “overtime” commercial with Gus Johnson is aired:
Sip peach schnapps due to its stupidity and chase with some malt liqour out of respect for Gus
If the “Can I get a hot tub” commercial comes on:
Waterfall with non-refrigerated beers.
Any time the refs go to the monitor:
1 shot of ouzo for every tenth of a second added to the clock
If Matt Howard flops while attempting to take a charge:
Pour a beer on the floor and sip it up until the ground is dry
If “Mack Attack” is said in reference to Butler’s Shelvin Mack:
Last person to raise their hand goes on a Big Mac run. While he is gone, bump Mark Morrison’s “Return of the Mack” on repeat until he returns.
If Kemba Walker pounds his chest after making a basket:
Try pounding an empty beer can against your head until it crushes like an accordion.
If anyone says “The Butler Did It” in reference to the Bulldogs making it to this game or even winning this game:
Throw up. Don’t drink until you throw up, just throw up.
If Jimmer is shown during “One Shining Moment” more than three times:
Everybody stand 40 feet away from the garbage can and try shooting all the empties in it. Person with the worst percentage has to mix together all the remaining alcohol and finish the night off right.