2013 Big Ten Football Power Rankings: Hip Hop MCs Edition

kanye-west-big-ten-football

Can’t leave Big Ten football alone the game needs me. Notorious B.I.G. once said that he raps about the ghetto because that’s what he knows. And…”if I worked at McDonald’s, I’d be rapping about Big Macs and fries.”

You write and talk what you know and live. And I know Big Ten football. We’re still a ways away from Big Ten football media days. Well, less than two weeks now. The preseason is indeed here, time for some WAY TOO Early Big Ten football power rankings

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Penn State is “Radioactive” to Bowl Selection Committees; Big 10 Bowl Projections

penn st logo

“They’re radioactive,” a bowl official told Herb Gould of the Chicago Sun-Times yesterday. “[Bowls] wanted Joe Paterno ‘s last game, not a nightmare.”

The Nittany Lions finish the season at Ohio State and Wisconsin. The OSU game looks like a toss-up, and the Badgers will likely destroy them. That season ending tilt is looking like it’ll be the Leaders division championship game, with the winner going to Indianapolis. So Penn State still has a chance to go to the Big Ten title game and the Rose Bowl; although it looks much less likely given how they performed Saturday.

Remember, the bowl selection process is arbitrary and capricious to say the least, and since PSU is a branding and PR nightmare right now, they could fall to the Ticketcity or  Meineke Bowl. If it comes to that, hopefully the school will do the right thing and decline their bid. Even if it doesn’t come to that, and PSU ends up in one of the top five slots, they should do the right thing and decline their invitation.

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Big 10 Bowl Projections; Much Hinges on Wisconsin Badgers

When looking at the Big Ten conference standings, and trying to figure out the hierarchy for the college football bowl system, I can’t help but think of one of my favorite lines from the ’80s movie “Fletch.”

“I’d say we’re in a gray area.”

“How gray?”

“Charcoal.”

We do know this however- the Big Ten bellcow is still Wisconsin (get it bellcow, dairy state?). The Badgers, last year’s Rose Bowl representative is still the favorite to go to Pasadena this year.

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Big 10 Football Power Rankings: Mediocrity, Parity, Blah Edition

There are only two times when doing a power rankings can be fun- way early in the season/preseason, or when everything is jumbled, disorganized chaos and blah. Doing a power rankings when the hierarchy is clear cut is a practice strictly for centrist, vanilla losers.

In the current Big Ten football world, mediocrity, blahness, national irrelevance, and parity reign. And remember that’s PARITY not PARODY! Weird Al Yankovic does not play tailback in college football.

I HATE when writers make that mistake worse than when announcers call coincidence “irony.” Some say the teams beat up on each other and hurt each other’s record. That’s a feeble excuse; because every team in this league is severely flawed in at least one major area. And in the interest of me being my ornery, cynical self, I’m going to highlight each team’s fatal flaw in my snippet.

Numerical rankings are from the latest BcS standings.

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Big Ten Football 2011 Power Rankings: Conference Season Kick-off Edition

College football is in mid-season form as Big Ten play begins this week. The Illini are 4-0 for the first time since 1951, and they just completed their first undefeated non-conference season since 2001. That’s all we really need for an intro- let’s get to the rankings.

1.) Wisconsin Badgers (4-0)

Have put in the most impressive offensive and defensive performance so far from the conference, and even though they still haven’t played anyone yet, they’re the only team from our region I think has a chance to compete for a national title. Here’s why.

 2.) Nebraska Cornhuskers (4-0)

ESPN College Gameday is coming to Camp Randall for their epic clash at the Badgers. And they SHOULD! By the way, Taylor Martinez has the ugliest delivery in college football. His throwing motion reminds me of Shawn Marion’s shooting stroke- no aesthetic value what so ever.

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Big Ten Football 2011 Power Rankings: Preconference Edition

One of the main storylines in the Big Ten entering this college football season was all the dual threat quarterbacks. Well so far, I’d say it’s really only Wisconsin’s Russell Wilson and Nathan Scheelhaase who fit that bill.

Michigan’s Denard Robinson did throw for over 330 yards and 4 TDs, but he is an average thrower at best. He made some really poor throws in that Notre Dame game, finished under 50% passing and many of his big plays came at the expense of ND defensive back Gary Gray, who was either a.) severely hurt Saturday night or b.) now regressed into one of the worst DBs in the FBS, because he was the opponent being victimized in most of UM’s big pass plays.

Denard is the best runner in the conference though.

Northwestern’s Dan Persa is hurt, and Nebraska’s Taylor Martinez has looked rather suspect throwing the ball so far, with that UGLY form.

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Big 10 Football Season Predictions and Projections

michigan state

There’s four good teams in the Big Ten this season and five more that could be good or just blah. You can call it parity (just don’t call it PARODY, I HATE when people make that mistake, it isn’t Weird Al Yankovic playing college football here) or you can call it mediocrity.

Expect a lot of conference teams to be ranked in the 30s and 20s overall in the nation. On the flipside, don’t expect too many to be in the top ten or the 80s or higher either.

For the Big Ten QB Power Rankings go here

The talent at quarterback is anything but mediocre though. There’s dual threats everywhere you look, and at least five that could be all-conference. And 3-4 more with serious potential beyond that as well.

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