Jay Cutler “DON’T CARE!” story goes mainstream

jay-cutler-dont-care

(UPDATE: Jay Cutler and FOX Sports both release statements announcing the former QB has retired and thus become a broadcaster; and a social media backlash ensues)

If you don’t like Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler, you will now, because this story makes Jay Cutler a million times more likable.

It’s taken over three years but…the underground, urban legend of Jay Cutler has finally gone mainstream. For years, my friends and I have discussed this AWESOME story. I’ve hinted about knowing it in past articles, but never published any details.

Well here it is in all it’s glory:

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Chicago Bears players as Thanksgiving Dinner items

Chicago Bears

The Chicago Bears head to Detroit for a late Thanksgiving morning tilt against the Lions. For the sake of all involved (fans, players, coaching staff), the game should end before most eat their turkey, stuffing and other traditional Turkey Day dishes. No need to ruin the appetites of those choosing to watch the fools’ gold that is the Chicago Bears.

In an attempt to have a light-hearted look at a bad Bears team, why not compare players to some of the food that will be served on Thanksgiving? This will be fun; or a complete dumpster fire, which is how most forecasted the Bears’ season back in August. Remember, there was no in between.

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NY Jets just cannot lose to Raiders rookie QB Derek Carr

New York Jets v Tennessee Titans

If there’s one category Rex Ryan is dominant in, it’s his ability to make rookie quarterbacks look like they don’t belong on the field. With a 7-3 record against rookie quarterbacks, Jets fans should look forward to seeing Derek Carr step out onto the MetLife Stadium turf with the Oakland Raiders. Some NFL pundits wonder whether Derek Carr should even be on the field this weekend.

Say what you will about Matt Schaub and his 2013 pick-six plague over the course of 10 games, but he has been slinging the ball on NFL defenses since 2004. The Jets secondary that will run out onto the field this Sunday would’ve been one of the worst secondaries that Schaub has seen throughout his 128 career starts. With Dee Milliner all but ruled out for Sunday, Ryan goes from Darrelle Revis and Antonio Cromartie to Kyle Wilson and Antonio Allen.

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The Importance of Being Jay Cutler

jay cutler-2014-nfl-mock-draft

In 2013, the Chicago Bears fielded their best offense in decades.

Matt Forte was at the top of his health and his game, Chicago’s pass-catchers were literally unstoppable, and Jay Cutler was on track to a career year, when inevitably, injury once again cut the much-maligned quarterback’s season short. Cutler has not played a full 16-game season since 2009—his first season as a Bear. [Read more…]

Jay Cutler ready to thrive in year two under Trestman

jay-cutler-seven-round-nfl-mock-draft

Jay Cutler has plenty of talent. He has one of the strongest arms in the NFL and has thrown for 19 or more touchdowns in six of his eight NFL seasons. Cutler has only one playoff appearance in his career though with that coming in 2010 when the Chicago Bears captured the NFC North title.

Cutler advanced to the NFC Conference Championship game but left early with an injury with many people questioning his heart and determination to win.

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Chicago Bears could be forced to do ‘Hard Knocks’

Hard-Knocks

The bright lights and cameras from HBO Hard Knocks may be in a town near you following around the Chicago Bears this summer.

The Bears, Jacksonville Jaguars, Oakland Raiders, Arizona Cardinals, New York Giants, St. Louis Rams, Buffalo Bills, and Pittsburgh Steelers are the eight teams that have no choice when it comes to participating on ‘Hard Knocks,’ HBO’s reality television show documenting the early goings of an NFL’s teams upcoming season. Deadspin is the first to report the list.

Fans of the shield have to be sick of seeing the Dallas Cowboys and Cincinnati Bengals on their television screens for Hard Knocks, and looking at the elite eight listed above, only a few teams offer intrigue and could deliver the ratings the cable network craves. [Read more…]

Forget November, Marc Trestman

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The rookie wall may have hit Marc Trestman a little harder than he may have liked. The Chicago Bears start December reeling and stuck in the ninth spot in the NFC. The offense has been better than average, but the defense is regressing far beyond the mean. Tack on Trestman’s self-admittance of second-guessing his decisions and a rash of injuries, and you get a team that is struggling to remain in the playoff hunt.

Marc Trestman was brought in to give the Bears offense an infusion of current day NFL play calling, and that has happened. Jay Cutler and back-up Josh McCown have shown signs of competence leading to near-career and career numbers for the two signal callers. The two have an improved offensive line and legit offensive weapons to thank for making life easier on the field. Brandon Marshall, Alshon Jeffery, Matt Forte, and Martellus Bennett have excelled at various levels in Marc Trestman ’s offense. [Read more…]

Chicago Bears Predictions: Week 3

Steelers-Bears

Things “Joestradamus” has in common with the Chicago Bears: we’re both 2-0.

According to my prediction this week, we should both have no problems making it 3-0.

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NFL passing emphasis, rushing decline: by the numbers

peyton-manning-passing

It’s happening. The day has finally come where the play calling in the NFL resembles my own play calling from back when I first started playing Madden.

First and 10? Streak to the endzone. Second and four? Streak to the endzone. Third and short? Streak to the endzone.

Okay, it might not be that drastic. But if it hasn’t been apparent in the past decade or so leading up to this season, it should be clear to everyone now that the NFL is a passing league.

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Chicago Bears Predictions: Week Two

(Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)

(Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)

‘Joestradmaus’ still has the magic touch. The Bengals put up three more points than I predicted, but cut a guy a break; at the end of the day, the Bears still won.

Charles Tillman and the gang managed to corral the one-man wrecking crew known as A.J. Green before things got too far out of hand, and the offense showed some promising signs as they dug out of a late double-digit deficit to start the Trestman Era on the right foot.

But this week’s contest against the Minnesota Vikings doesn’t just feature a one-man wrecking crew, it features a deity cleverly disguised as a human who snacks on Bears defensive play calls as if they were Jolly Ranchers.

This week, I’ll tell you why ‘Purple Jesus’ Adrian Peterson will continue his reign of terror at Soldier Field, and why the Bears will still come out winners in the end.

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Chicago Bears Predictions: Week One

Chicago Bears Predictions

It’s that time of year again, folks; time for “Joestradamus” to bust out the crystal ball and make Chicago Bears predictions for 2013.

Remind me to have my legal people to look into getting “Joestradamus” trademarked, I think I’m onto something here.

Last year in my prediction series, I correctly called the first eight Chicago Bears predictions en route to a 7-1 start. Things got a bit sketchy in the third quarter when I called for three more victories while the Bears were only able to eek out one.

Let’s also not mention that I never predicted the final four games of the season…

But fear not! I’ve been inspired by the news of J’Marcus Webb signing with the Vikings to find my prime predicting form from the first half of last season.

Without further ado, I give you my first installment of my annual foray into clairvoyance.

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2013 NFL Season Predictions: Super Bowl Champion Bengals!

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Making predictions for the Super Bowl on February 2nd today on August 27th. Yes, you got to love it. That’s why I’m all about the Cincinnati Bengals as your Super Bowl champion. When you make NFL divisional and Wild Card picks before even the 4th preseason game…well that’s bold.

Look for these to be about as accurate as my NFL mock draft. So don’t take this with a grain of salt. How about a whole truckload of salt. Well, time is a wasting so let’s jump right to the predictions.

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