By Paul M. Banks
One “hot topic” of discussion this NFL playoff season was the Verizon Football Zone Girl Rebecca Grant. (video available in full article page view) Although she seemed to disappear during Conference Championship weekend, we saw a lot of her the previous two weeks. And although she is attractive, Ms. Grant’s absence this week wasn’t really a bad thing.
So who is Rebecca Grant, other than a hot yet extremely plastic looking pitchwoman with a TERRIBLE vocal delivery on camera? According to Mahalo.com she’s a “glamor model and television host best known for her appearance in men’s magazines such as Maxim and FHM. She was also a host on the show Truck Stop and Robot Wars: Extreme Warriors.”
That site also lists her birthplace as Buffalo, New York and her birthdate in 1968. Yes, she’s 41! (Hey, the picture at the top is about ten years old, and it’s from one of those aforementioned Playboy wannabe magazines that have adversely impacted Playboy’s financial bottom line. But back to Rebecca Grant. She’s in her 40s?!?! I guess that would make her “Cougarlicious” then. Rar Rar Rar!
Because like Aaliyah once sang, “age it ain’t nothing but a number”. So the harsh chauvinists out there might say she’s more attractive because she looks really good “for a woman in her 40s”. Well, you guys can have that debate elsewhere at another time. I’m going to stay above the fray on that one. But it is obvious that every time she appears on screen, her breasts are pushed up with the wonderbra of wonderbras. And she’s wearing so much makeup that a Wagner power painter was probably necessary for the applying of it.
Because of that newly revealed age, what I now see in those crappy Verizon spots is a woman who seems worse at her job than I previously thought I would expect a 27-29 year old woman to maybe speak with a sorority girl/Lincoln Park Trixie accent and mind-numbing sentence inflection patterns. (And that’s a sad fact in itself, my expectations getting this low because no woman should speak in that Valley Girl/bubbly bimbo accent beyond college age. It’s “like totally immature, you know. like sooooooo lame to talk that way, who does that? oh my god!)
A woman in professional broadcasting is still talking like the “House Bunny,” and she’s into her 40s! What’s the world coming to?