By Paul M. Banks
You may have heard a thing or two last fall about FSU Cowgirl Jenn Sterger’s decision to have her breast implants removed. Well, I hope you did because what I wrote about it ended up becoming one of the 10 most read posts in Sports Bank history. Her decision to have the procedure performed was widely discussed on the internet, and many regarded that move’s logic to be in the same category as: actress Shelly Long leaving the sitcom “Cheers”, the Herschel Walker trade, the Barry Zito signing, pretty much every move Isaiah Thomas made as a NBA GM…you get the idea.
Today, thanks to Busted Coverage.com, we get to see how she’s doing now that her intercontinental ballistic missiles have been disarmed.
As BC points out:
“What struck us this week was the revelation of a picture that should have sent more shock waves across the Internet. That photo above seems to be the only post-op picture of Jenn’s rack on the Internet. Somewhere, Brent Musberger will be miserable after seeing the photo after the jump.”
How Sterger parlayed an ABC screen capture into a multi-year career is both shocking and noteworthy, but if she can somehow stay relevant now that she is sans the double-barreled guns that “made” her, it would be an even bigger accomplishment! However, I still believe her clock is showing 14:45 gone by in her 15 minutes.
In the meantime, “enjoy” her latest blog. Usually her blogs are so hard to read because they’re so cliche and poorly written, but this one is especially difficult to consume due to the font and background combination choice that only a braindead person would approve of. You’ll need industrial strength lighting to even have a shot at reading this, but I still found one passage amusing, or at least bemusing. (update: this background has since been changed to a self-portrait montage during her implant days)
Apparently, Sterger was a self-described big time loser in high school, and she ran into the prom queen at a New York coffee shop recently. Oh, and this chance encounter somehow symbolizes America’s greater socioeconomic divide in Jenn’s eyes!
Still in my full hair and makeup, and dressed to the nines from my meeting, I had noticed both the “Ella” and her harem of suitors giving me the once over… multiple times. The boys stared at me like some wet dream they had just seen in real life. But to the “Ella,” I was probably a threat, because even after my reduction surgery, I’m not exactly a 12 year old Russian gymnast. And as for my unruly curly hair, well, thanks to the miracle that is the CHI flatiron and advancements in hair care, things have clearly evolved for the better. I gave the high school bullies my coldest stare. Then, smiled warmly at them.
“You know,” I said, “this may come to shock you. But years from now, when you’re out of school, and out in the real world, where your parents can’t feed you from silver spoons, and you have to work to become who you are, you’ll realize the things and people you thought were so cool and important in high school were really peanuts in the grand scheme of things. And the kids you picked on and tormented will go on… and become much greater things because of the things you did to them. I should know because I was THAT girl.”
If only Karl Marx were alive to read it. The revolution will not be video podcasted! And here’s another obligatory and unnecessary Sterger photo (pre-op era). Just for old time’s sake.