Super Bowl XXXXIV Drinking Game

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By: Peter Christian and David Kay

Is your team not playing in the Super Bowl but you still feel obliged to watch the game because it’s the Super Bowl?  Have no fear.  The Sports Bank has the cure for how to remain entertained during the game while also livening up your Super Bowl Party beyond the delicious taco dip your buddy’s wife made.  Read the following rules, go to the grocery store, stock up on booze, and enjoy.  Please do not drink and drive though.  And as a pre-cautionary measure; The Sports Bank will not be held responsible if you are actually insane enough to try this:

Every time we see Archie Manning in the luxury box: 1 drink

Every highlight of Archie Manning playing as a Saints QB: Shotgun beer, load your shotgun

Every time we see Eli Manning in the luxury box: Kiddy Cocktails for all

Every time we see Kim Kardashian in the luxury box: blow-job shot (remember, no hands)

Every time we see Khloe Kardashian in the luxury box: Hope your Plasma TV does not shatter into a million pieces

Every time a player named “Pierre” gets a first down: slam some french wine

Every time a player named “Pierre” scores a TD: shower yourself with a box of Franzia

If Dwight Freeney’s injured ankle is mentioned: Keg stand (if you don’t last at least ten seconds, be ashamed.  Very, very ashamed.)

If the phrase “The Saints go marching into Miami/Super Bowl 44/or any other place” is used: Drink a pitcher of the finest lager around, because hey, at least I won’t be unoriginal

Any sign that says “Who Dat” shown on camera: slam a beer (against your head)

Any time Peyton Manning swears at one of his teammates: take a “Chuck Norris” shot

Any time the Peytin Manning face is shown: Do a shot of whatever gives you same look that Peyton has

Any Manning related highlight that isn’t from Super Bowl XXXXIV:  Cut a lime, get salt ready, take shot of tequila, cut yourself, pour salt in wound.

If the Colts score with less than 2 minutes to play in the half or the game: Nothing, you don’t drink for something that happens ALL THE TIME!

If Garrett Hartley misses a FG: make sure all Vikings fans are put in a strait jacket, let them drink beer through a straw

If any replays from NFC Championship are shown: Call or Text Peter Christian to ensure he is still alive, pour out a 40 out of respect.

If Will Smith’s “Miami” is played at all during the broadcast: Margaritas all around (your choice of blended or on the rocks)

When Phil Simms says he would challenge a call that replays show was called correctly: make everyone with a confused look on their face drink Boone’s Farm

Any time you can actually understand what Shannon Sharpe is saying during the pre-game of half-time show: Cement mixer shot

Every time CBS promotes “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains”: Waterfall

If Jim Caldwell is shown on the sideline and he is talking, smiling or moving: Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!

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Comments

  1. paulmbanks says:

    new addition to this drinking game- anyone who says “Saints marched into…”
    gets taken and placed onto the rack, the medieval torturing deceiving. “interrogated” there for 7 days, then guillotined

  2. paulmbanks says:

    “Bienvenidos a Miami….bouncing in the club where the heat is on” hahahha

    over/under on that being played during the broadcast: 14

  3. paulmbanks says:

    Wowwww Khloe is just brutal looking!! I’m afraid to reload and revisit this page because that pic is no nasty

  4. Peter Christian says:

    So the final tally? A bunch of French wine consumed, a bunch of keg stands, two Franzia showers, a couple Chuck Norris shots, some shots that give you Peyton Manning face, and about 30 Waterfalls… needless to say, anyone who played by TSB.net rules is going to be fighting with their liver for a while.

  5. The Jim Caldwell one was a fan favorite at the Super Bowl party I was at… and not once did he budge

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