Paul M. Banks vs. David K. & Rikki Greenberg
During the first quarter of the game I was texting back and forth with two girls: one was Palestinian-American, the other Jewish-American. I pointed this out to my friend at the game with me, who said “Yes Banks, no one can bring people together and unify them, like you can. The world can all agree on your love and knowledge of the NFL.†With the hippy stuff out of the way, let’s get to the rivalry and conflict.
I began by texting both of them what “Rudy’s†father said upon seeing the inside of Notre Dame Stadium
PMB: This is the most beautiful site these eyes have ever seen 8:17
RG: Yes, I’m sure it is UR going down Belichick 8:21
PMB: Don’t sing it. bring it 8:29
RG: Its already been brougthen 8:31
RG: I guess using ur body to get 2 da top works 8:32
PMB: When u got it, flaunt it honey. I play all the angles to get ahead 8:33
RG: Its scary how well it worked 8:34
RG: Oh wat wat take that grey sweathsort one 8:39 after the Jets jumped out to a big early lead
RG: Oh shit! NEON LEON BABY! GRAB DA KLEENEX NOW CUZ IT’S GONNA GET UGLY 8:41 after the KO return TD
PMB: There’s a drunk girl in a The Devil Wears Prada hat and pink Favre jersey two seats over 8:45
(Later the Gillette Stadium audio guy played Rihanna’s “Shut up and Drive†and this Jets chick and I were the only ones singing along…and kept singing after the song stopped in our section)
RG: Hot! U know what to do 8:46
PMB: Pull the trigger. And close the deal. 8:47
RG: LOL! Ay ay captain 8:48
RG: BenJarvus who? 8:49
PMB: BenJarvus Green Ellis and Jarvis Green on the same team. Must be an NFL record!
RG: Mothafucker! I told them Cassel was going to do that 8:51
RG: where r the pats I don’t c them 8:52
(Given the fact that the Patriots were being blown out, I was very quiet at this point)
DK: Favre is carving u up 9:22
RG: This is 2 easy! How’s that crab not so tasty now! 9:26
DK: That cotchery catch was ridic I predicted 27-24 on tsb 9:29
PMB: Cotchery? I’m getting crotchety and surly. 5 hours sleep, alcohol and the score is making it so 9:33
DK: Understood 9:34 (Then the furious New England comeback began and with halftime, there were no texts for awhile)
PMB: forget talking. get ur offense moving down the field; like Rihanna says, “shut up and drive†10:24
PMB: “from 0 to 60 in 3.5, baby you got the keyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys shut up and drive drive drive drive” 10:26
PMB: Pats punter: Chris Hanson, just like the host of Dateline “to catch a predatorâ€
10:28
PMB: “What were u planning to do with her?, I c u brought Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Have a seat†10:28
RG: ha ha have u been drinking 10:30
PMB: Yes. W-E-S WES WES WES!!! (after the Welker touchdown) 10:32
RG: keep your sweatshirt on the jets are still winning 10:33
PMB: More Cassell aerial assault 10:45
RG: doesn’t matter the jets will get it back 10:47
PMB: White trash Jets fans in row behind me getting kicked out 10:48
RG: that’s how we roll we r trashy fuckers 10:48
PMB: no argument there. U said it. now both guys getting arrested 10:49
RG: wtf is going on wit the jets 10:50
PMB: They are discovering their true selves 10:51
DK: jets are pissing this away 10:52
DK: no huddle is killing jets 10:53
PMB: That’s what we call halftime adjustments baby boy 10:53
RG: this score is bs 10:54
PMB: Feel that momentum shift kid? 10:55
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PMB: I bought the Belichick head band here tonight. Score w/o me wearing it 24-6 jets, w/ me wearing it 21-3 Patriots 10:59
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PMB: I feel sexy in this enchanted headband which affects the outcome of the game 11:01
RG: me too 11:01
PMB: These guys dressed as Colonial militia fire off muskets in the end zone after every TD. That MUST be my Halloween costume next yr! 11:02
DK: haha. I’m so jealous that you’re seeing Favre play live right now 11:03
PMB: Thanks, I’ve been aroused (in a non-sexual way) about this evening for years 11:05
DK: Is randy moss even playing or smoking some ganj on the sidelines? He’s ruining my fantasy team 11:14
PMB: Cassel overshot him on the go route, but he could have TRIED to stretch out for that 11:15
(I knew Dave was going to bust out something from his favorite movie “Good Will Hunting†at some point, but when he picked this line his timing was perfect and made me piss myself from laughter) 11:19
DK: “if ur comin to my house to every Sunday to watch patriots games ill fuckin kill ya that’s a promise!†11:21
PMB: I’m dying right now. Wicked funny! 11:23
DK: wow holy shit go for 2. at least its fantasy points for me 11:30 (When Moss tied the game when regulation expired
RG: fuck yea 11:47
DK: 1st place! 11:48
Obligatory cheerleader shot…in case Dave and Rikki were wondering why I havent put one up yet
Soxman: Rikki gloating yet? 11:49
Jason Moe: GO JETS! 2:12 AM
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You might notice no Jets propaganda in the pictures for this “article” that was intentional. maybe I’m still bitter abt the loss
Haha Soxman…I saved all my gloating for AFTER the game…it’s a little sweeter that way!
I think it’s safe to say that Banks has a slight to almost disturbing fetish with NFL cheerleaders.
I heard the American Psychological Association no longer classify “cheerleader fetish” as a paraphilia. Its been removed from the DSM-IV and everything. Yes, I was a psych major in undergrad!
I love my Text at 2:12am..I had to many Victory Beers that night. I should have been more involved in those texts that night..haha
Moe Diddy backing the Jets Since 2008..
i turned my phone off at that pt. considering it was spelled “gon jets!” I figured you were faced.
and yes “gone jets” sounds good to me. get gone Jets. dont ever come back