A Super Bowl XLVI preview 8 days ahead of the game? You better believe it. Yes, I’m getting this to you BEFORE media day because once we get rolling it’s going to get annoying: rematch, ’08 rematch, spygate, Bill Belichick versus his former employer, high octane passing game versus strong pass rush, Eli Manning winning for his big bro in the house that his brother built, Wes Welker getting engaged, Chad Ochocinco tweeting with House Speaker John Boehner- all these storylines are going to be beaten to hell between now and Sunday.
Not to mention whatever Rob Gronkowski and Ines Sainz have planned for this week. In this preview we’ll stay away from the stuff you’re going to hear ad nausea.
A MIDWEST SUPER BOWL!!!!! Yeah raise up! Indy throw it up!
Everything you need to know about the Super Bowl halftime show
AFC Champion New England Patriots (#1 seed, 15-3) Analysis:
The most powerful weapon Tom Brady has to work with is Wes Welker, the greatest slot receiver in NFL history. NFL Network analyst Michael Irvin called him the best receiver in the game right now. The numbers back that up:
And he inspired a great parody song. “Moves like Welker, moves like Welker, moooooooooooooooves like Welker.” Watch it here.
When Welker is covered, Brady next looks to Rob Gronkowski, a big, fast second year tight end out of Arizona. He’s redefined the TE position this year through his play, breaking all the records you could ask. And off the field you must take a trip to Gronk Nation. It’s a land that includes posing for risque pics with porn star Bibi Jones while she wears his jersey, or shirtlessly tweeting pics with large phallic symbols to supermodel Kate Upton.
In a world of corporate controlled communication and sanitized image manipulation, he is a breath of fresh air.
The Pats trio of white position players, seriously how unlikely is this that they have so many Caucasians at the skill positions?, concludes with tailback Danny Woodhead, not to be confused with the infamous Danny Woodcock!
But the guy on the ground to mainly account for is BenJarvus Green Ellis. The main nicknamed “Law Firm” or “Boston Legal,” has touched the ball nearly a thousand times (in his college and NFL days) on rushes, receptions and returns, and he’s never fumbled once.
Here’s our archive of the most popular Patriots stories of this past year
Tom Brady has a super hot supermodel wife who is also a United Nations Environmental Ambassador. She just returned from her mission trip to Africa.
NFC Champion New York Giants (#4 seed, 12-7) Analysis:
Believe it or not, Eli Manning is walking on air, I never thought it could ever beeeee…..flying away and a wing and a prayer, who could it be? Believe it or not, it’s the worse Manning, not Peyton. Eli is Elite among qbs now. That’s just understood as Manning set a New York for pass yards.BTW, here’s a cool video of magician David Blaine fooling Eli with one of his tricks.
But Victor Cruz is one of the most underrated receivers in the game right now. He had one of the best receiver seasons in NYG history, setting a franchise record for receiving yards. Hakeem Nicks had almost 1,200 receiving yards this year, and tight end Jake Ballard put up big numbers too. Quite impressive considering he put up very scant, minimal numbers during his college football career at Ohio State.
N.Y. might lead the league in totally awesome player names as they boast Osi Umenyiora, Bear Pascoe, Ramses Barden and D.J. Ware. “Hey, the new D.J. Ware drops on Itunes next Tuesday, I can’t wait to download it.”
The Giants are simply getting hot at the right time, and that is very scary. As is their defensive line; which is as good as they come in the game. You know the names, you know what happened when they effectively pressured Tom Brady in the last Super Bowl meeting. If they can do that again, and slow down the high-powered NE machine, they’ll win. Jason Pierre-Paul isn’t considered a franchise defining monster of a DE today, the former NFL Draft combine hero soon will be.
Is the Giants section just a fraction of the size as the Pats section? Yes. Was that an accident? No. Am I apologizing for this disparity? No.
Instead of bringing up “Spygate” from 2008, which you’ll hear ad nauseum this week, here are some funny pictures/graphics related to the topic
Brutally Honest Prediction: Patriots 35, Giants 31 (Record 44-19)
As a Patriots fan (full disclosure mode obviously. my hometown Chicago Bears can kiss my white azz. They’ve annoyed, sickened and #&*ing offended me as both a journalist and a ticket buyer to the point that I $%^ing hate them more than any NFL team) THIS IS who I want in order for the Pats to win their next title, a rematch and hopefully revenge suits me just fine. NE has been consistent in getting big turnovers when they absolutely need them, and stopping teams in the red zone.
The NYG are a much worse match-up for the Patriots than the Baltimore Ravens. They pass-oriented instead of run-oriented and New England is terrible versus the pass and decent against the run. However, Tom Brady isn’t going to have another awful game again like he did last week. Brady’s rating was in the 50s, he threw 2 picks and had 0 TD passes- yet his team still won. The Giants defense is good, but they’re not good enough to do that to Brady.
On a side note, I’d like to say that it’s been a pleasure serving you this year doing BHP, and it’s a little sad that this will be my last one between now and September. I’m honored that thousands of you read my Brutally Honest preview of the college football national title game and the Penn State vs. Nebraska game (the first in the wake of Jerry Sandusky). And I’ve had some score predictions which were almost dead on accurate (AFC Title game, Rose Bowl, two Alabama home games).
I think this is fast becoming one of our signature segments.
Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, an official Google News site generating millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports
A Fulbright scholar and MBA, Banks has appeared on live radio all over the world; and he’s a member of the Football Writers Association of America, U.S. Basketball Writers Association, and Society of Professional Journalists. The President of the United States follows him on Twitter (@Paul_M_BanksTSB) You should too.Follow paulmbanks