I had to work today. Until 7:30.
I made a decision early on that I would try to work through my shift and not find out what happened.
Somehow, beyond all odds, I made it through without finding out what happened.
I have to be honest though, had someone told me what happened…I wouldn’t have believed them.
Honestly…I’m not even sure I believe what I just watched. As a sports fan, as a Chicagoan, and quite frankly, as a human being, you’re just not prepared to say, “Caleb Hanie just led the Bears on a 70 yard touchdown drive in the fourth quarter of the NFC Championship game to bring the Bears within one score.”
I just typed it after watching it. I’m not even sure I still believe it.
And here’s the really crazy part…he did it TWICE.
First off…let’s congratulate myself for somehow making it through an 8 and a half hour shift at work without finding out the result. Seriously. It was a yeoman’s effort, and I think I gave myself an ulcer, and quite frankly I’m not even sure I enjoyed the game, but man…I did it.
To the game, here are my quick hit impressions…
Fuck off, Jay Cutler. You hurt your knee bad enough to not play? In the NFC Championship Game?? Seriously? Fuck. You. Go home. Don’t come back.
I just heard Lovie on TV say you hurt it on the last series…but you still don’t know when you hurt it? Yeah. Fuck off.
Also, ummm…Todd Collins? Go away. It’s not your fault, but you’re old and not capable anymore. Ride off into the sunset.
Caleb Hanie? Bravo. You wanted to play. You really wanted to play. You wanted to come out and give your all for the big C on that helmet. And you did…and you damn near brought the team all the way back. You haven’t taken snaps with the first team all season, and…damn, kid. Seriously.
Hats off to the defense for rallying back. Completely overmatched early on, you guys battled back and really turned this game around…and Brian Urlacher, I’m sorry for saying that you were done. You’re not. You were a goddamn beast today. A freaking beast.
Tim Jennings wins the crown for the goat of the game. Which is amazing, because of how big of a pussy Jay Cutler was. Seriously Tim…if you’re a fucking cornerback on this Bears team next year, I won’t watch one game. Not a single one. And no Bear fan should, either.
To the Bears coaching staff…you guys effed up. Seriously. That timeout on third down on the last drive when you were handing off to Forte was TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE. That was a GREAT play call. And then you call the end around? Really? And then DON’T use your last time out to come up with a better play than that slant? It was like the stoned sister from “Mike and Molly” played by Katy Mixon was calling plays at the end of the game.
In the end…I said at the beginning of the season that the Bears would win four games, and the high-end-upside was they would win 6.
Now, I just watched them play in the NFC Championship game.
That should leave me feeling great but…I am just confused. I drank many, many Busch Lights before it happened, but I don’t think there is a “drunk enough” to deal with Caleb Hanie as your quarterback in the NFC Championship game…In all seriousness, I’m still having trouble thinking about it.
There’s tons to be proud of for the Bears, but one major question looms, with Jay Cutler.
Can he be the quarterback? Is he tough enough? Does he even care?
And I’ll be honest…I don’t know. And I’m drunk and too confused to care right now, honestly.
I suppose I should congratulate Packer fans, although I feel like if Caleb Hanie can do what he did, you’re probably just sacrificial lambs for the Steelers anyway…which sucks, because I felt like the AFC was really overrated this season.
But still…what a ride for the Bears…and what a weird, wild end to a weird, wild season. No other way for it to go, right?
Paul Schmidt is a senior contributor and media relations director for the Sports Bank, and is entering his tenth year of writing about sports in Chicago and Illinois. You can reach him via email here.