One of my favorite articles to write every year is the annual NCAA Tournament Championship Drinking Game. Here are the three we have done in case you missed them; 2009 Michigan State vs. North Carolina version, last year’s Butler vs. Duke one, and this past season’s Butler vs. UConn Drinking Game.
So why not do one for my favorite night of the year, the NBA Draft. Even if you do not have a rooting interest in tonight’s draft and have never heard of half the players likely to be picked, invite some friends over, buy a heck of a lot of booze, follow our drinking rules, and you have a memorable night.
(UPDATE: Jay Bilas subtly mentions the NBA Draft drinking game last night on air with the word “wingspan.” Video, via Larry Brown Sports)
Our lawyer insists we add the following: The Sports Bank is not responsible for anyone dumb enough to actually try this and the harm to his/her body that would certainly occur if this game was played. If you are idiotic enough to attempt keeping pace with this game, please have your local emergency room on stand-by and do not drink and drive. Thank you.
Every time one of the following happens; take the required amount of drinks:
Anytime a player’s “up-side” or “potential” is mentioned:
Keg stand (because you’re UP-SIDE down) until you POTENTIALLY vomit.
When a player’s referred to as “long”:
The youngest person in the room will take the longest drink he/she can. The next time it happens (and it will) the next oldest person needs to beat that time.
Anytime a player is referred to as a “gamer”:
Instant game of speed quarters
Every time this draft is called “weak”:
Take a shot of watered down Apple Pucker
Anytime a foreign player is drafted:
Have a drink from their native country (I would offer suggestions but I don’t know any Turkish, Lithuanian, Congolese, Czech, Latvian, or Montenegrin alcoholic beverages)
Every time the name “Bismack Biyombo” is said on-air:
Waterfall- because of all of the Water that falls in his country (highest frequency of thunderstorms in the world)
Anytime it is debated whether Jimmer will be a successful pro:
Have the most sober person in the room read the BYU honor code while the others in the room shotgun a Busch Light
If Kemba Walker falls out of the top ten:
Shot of three wise men, then have someone slap you just to make sure this is actually happening and you haven’t blacked out drunk.
If Stuart Scott tries to say something “hood”:
Pour out a 40
When a player thanks God in his interview after being selected:
Take a swill of Crown (because Crown Royal is heavenly)
If T-Wolves GM David Kahn does something baffling, stupid, or idiotic:
Don’t do anything, it is a common draft day occurrence.
When (not if) Dick Vitale goes on a tangent about how he is outraged that some experienced college player has fallen in the draft and how baffled he is that NBA teams let that player fall:
Drink a Spotted Cow (because it’s AWESOME BABY WITH A CAPITAL A!)
Anytime David Kay gets a correct pick in his mock draft:
Shot of Jameson (David’s favorite big boy shot)
Anytime David Kay get a pick wrong in his mock draft:
Shot of tequila sans salt or lime (David’s least favorite shot, EVER)