Illinois is a state that’s certainly synonymous with the great sport of basketball. Say that you’re from Chicago when traveling abroad, and the first thing people will say is Michael Jordan. Which replaced Al Capone. Before the 1990s, people on planet Earth first associated gangsterdom with the second city. Now it’s the Chicago Bulls.
The state of Indiana is right up there with North Carolina, Kentucky and Kansas as places where hoops rules. Yes, even in this great nation where the NFL slaughters everything, roundball comes first these specific states.
Yet this March will be the first instance in my lifetime where both the Land of Lincoln and the Crossroads of America are shut out of the NCAA Tournament. I turn 36 on Thursday. It’s been 42 years since this last occurred.
Props to Dave Wischnowsky, for crunching the numbers on this, for his column in CBS Chicago:
He looked up the history for me. And he listed out all the programs in the Hoosier state and the Prairie state for his column on Friday. Wisch listed out all the records for his piece. So I’ll update all of the W-Ls and see where we stand now. Let’s look at who has a shot of grabbing an at-large berth in the Big Dance….okay nobody does. But let’s look at the teams’ records anyway. To quote Beavis, whenever he flipped the television on a music video that Butthead hated: “suffer dude.”
Which applies to this @@#$%%^^^ winter we’ve suffered through in the Midwest too.
Ball State (4-21) Who? DON’T CARE
Butler (12-15) Wow. The bottom really dropped out when Brad Stevens bolted for the Boston Celtics.
Indiana (14-11) You gotta feel for Clappy McBeltbuckle, right? The Hoosiers have an RPI of 98. But don’t pile on Tom Crean, he’s basketball Ron Zook. (an explanation of why)
IPFW (19-9) like the metal band MASTODON! Probably the best shot from either state to make the tourney. However, it’s a one-bid league, so they must win the conference tourney or else.
Indiana St. (21-7) Having a solid season, but they’re not getting past the Wichita State Shockers, and the Valley doesn’t deserve a second team.
IUPUI (6-22) No comment.
Notre Dame (14-14) Lost season after Jerian Grant was kicked out of school. Now Mike Brey runs a program in need of a total rebuild. By the way, all this time Brey has been in South Bend and he has just one sweet sixteen to his credit. Yet his seat remains as cool as a cucumber. I guess people there are just more interested in spring college football practice.
Purdue (15-11) Things will get better next season, right? Teams can’t play “hack-a-A.J.-Hammonds” defense forever, right?
Valparaiso (16-12) I’ll skip them, so as not to drive down page views. You don’t care about the Crusaders, and neither do I.
Illinois (record redacted) I said I was going to write about the Illini future, not the present. I will keep my promise.
Illinois State (15-13) I don’t know much about them. Neither does anyone else in this state. They’ve never given us a reason to know.
Bradley (12-17) The only reason I’m aware of the Bradley….Braves? right? is because of this creepy mascot they just unveiled. Which makes you think it’s the Bradley Red Devils or Gargoyles or something.
Today @bradleyu unveiled its new stone-faced mascot and it will haunt you. https://t.co/2QygIHF2JG / pic.twitter.com/adAeYhnbUH
— Sporting News (@sportingnews) February 23, 2014
UIC (5-23) My former gym teacher is an assistant coach for the Flames, and follows me on Twitter. Hence no comment on how their 5-23 season has shaped up.
Chicago State (10-15) Great venue. State of the art arena. But the only reason I’ve been to it, or even know that it exists for that matter, is because the McDonald’s All-American game had an event there one year. Chicagoans, name a cross-street or neighborhood where CSU is located?
DePaul (10-18) They went to a Final Four the year after I was born. But if you look at how the program has functioned under Oliver Purnell, that might as well have been A.D. 79 not 1979. Saying anything more about the Blue Demons right now would just be piling on.
Bradley (11-17) Que?
Eastern Illinois (9-19) Huh?
Loyola (9-19) No one cares, and I mean no one cares about the Ramblers. Which is sad considering they have the state’s only national title in 1963. But I’ve yet to meet anyone in Chicago who even remembers that they exist. Not making the tourney since 1985 will do that to a program.
Northern Illinois (12-14) Hey, at least Jordan Lynch will be a first round pi….oh yeah right. Only reason I know that NIU even has hoops is because they scored 4 points in a half or something like that a couple years ago or something.
Northwestern (12-15) By now you’re realizing that college hoops in this state is pretty pathetic. When Chris Collins went 5-2 during a seven game stretch it was the feel good story in Chicago college sports media of 2014. Not joking.
When Collins got the Wildcats to 5-5 in the Big Ten (they’re 5-10 currently) it literally was the best team in the team in the state at the time. NU was the hottest college hoops team here for awhile and we were looking for something to get excited about, so we chose to get excited about that. Sadly, it did not last.
Southern Illinois (12-17) Once proud program used to make the NCAA tourney regularly last decade. Even advanced to a couple Sweet 16s. Now they’re more known for their coach’s LMAO rant and their bus getting stranded on the interstate in this winter with weather as fun and as hot as the hoops.
Southern Illinois-Edwardsville (11-17) They’re D-1? Are you sure about that?
Western Illinois (9-17) They have a basketball program? Are you sure about that?
If you’re a sports fan living in either of these two states and you haven’t lit yourself on fire by now…feel free to do so at this point.
Paul M. Banks owns The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. An MBA and Fulbright scholar, he’s also a frequent analyst on news talk radio; with regular segments on ESPN,NBC, CBS and Fox. A former NBC Chicago and Washington Times writer, he’s also been featured on the History Channel. President Obama follows him on Twitter (@paulmbanks)