We’re just days away from the start of NFL training camps! And I’m currently shopping for a new favorite team. Jay Cutler is my favorite player, but the Bears and the Patriots are the two teams I’ve loved in the past. There are/were “creative differences” between myself and both franchises that make it impossible for us to be together ever again. So after breaking up with both I look for a new team before the 2013 NFL season starts.
We’ll do this just like the playoffs. We’ll see who advances out of each division, through a mock postseason, and mock Super Bowl. We start with the NFC North:
Green Bay Packers
Pros: I have a lot of friends here who are Packers Backers so there’s an automatic group for camaraderie and built-in game watch parties! I am A PART OWNER OF THE TEAM. Yes, I’m an idiot who purchased one of those ceremonial stock shares. I love it. I framed it. I think it’s cool. I should root for a team that I own a small fraction of. This website’s second and third most prominent writers are Packers fans. Already on their mailing lists.
Cons: those Packers fan friends are DRUNKS!!! They have a Facebook page for their clique’s moniker “The Too Drunk to F%& Crew.” Adopting the Packers looks like I’m trying too hard to get back at the Bears. It’s like having a revenge affair with your ex-fiance’s sister. Although….maybe I should contact my ex’s sister, she was very decent looking…eh, she’s kind of psycho and drunk like her sister, I’ll pass.
Pros: You get to root for Matthew Stafford (see above for why that’s good). NO ONE will accuse you of being a bandwagon jumper or fairweather fan. Mikel LeShoure is the greatest running back in the history of my alma mater. I covered him extensively while he was with the Illini. Their DL is bad ass. Honolulu Blue and Silver are really cool colors. I have the Michigan State connection, so that’s close by!
Cons: Mikel Leshoure is a THUG! Ndamukong Suh is impossible to root for. Do I want to sign up for a lifetime of 5-11 and 4-12 seasons. They’re kind of like the Kansas City Royals of the NFL.
Pros: uhm, uhh….kind of drawing a blank here. My favorite author, F. Scott Fitzgerald is from St. Paul, and……
Cons: no genuine benefits.
Division champ: Green Bay Packers. No Wild Cards advance from this division. Packers win this division by at least four games.Powered by Sidelines Follow paulmbanks