It’s times like these that cue up the old sorority girl jokes. The jokes are bad. Very bad.
But “fun bad,” especially when used on a young woman like Rebecca Martinson, the emotionally unstable, neurotic and socially challenged sorority girl who gave her subordinate Delta Gamma sisters at the University of Maryland a profanity-laced and hostile set of “instructions,” I guess…..over email. (Before you click the link, remember the language there is NSFW, as unPC as it gets, and will almost certainly dumb you down.
(UPDATE: Rebecca Martinson RESIGNS her post with DGs)
(UPDATE: Actor Michael Shannon reads/expresses the emotion of this NSFW email at Funny or Die Video) And more Becca tweets on race, class and eating habits emerge. And they’re gems!)
Welcome to the Big Ten, Maryland. “Fear the Turtle?” I fear this deranged sorority girl. And worse yet, any sorority girl that follows her “advice.” Now I’m used to typing out a lot of Pat Fitzgerald and Tim Beckman quotes, some of which should be in ALL CAPS!!! conveying to the reader THE TONE OF THE SPEAKER’S VOICE!!! Because both the Northwestern and Illini football coaches like LOUD NOISES!
However, Martinson would break the Caps Lock button on my computer.
Unfortunately, Rebecca Martinson deleted her Twitter account. And it reminds me of actor/comedian extraordinaire Ricky Gervais, giving his interview to The Daily Show Wednesday, talking about the “Twitter Stupid” and “spreading the stupidity of Twitter.”
Luckily, Gawker saved some of Martinson’s tweets before she deleted them. Here are some “gems:”
On Mexicans: “One of the perks of going to class ugly is that the Mexicans working along the sidewalk don’t try to talk to me #fug4thewin #nottryinghard”
On the resilience of the elderly: “Old people everywhere”
On how awesome she is (was?) at being a sorority girl: “It’s gotten to the point where I have trouble talking to people not in greek life because I have no idea what they do with their spare time”
On Hellen Keller (and Greek philosophy): “I might as well be Helen Keller because I have NO idea what’s going on in this class right now #plato?”
On LGBT rights: “Why am I not surprised that the girl w/ a pink mohawk and cargo pants is talking about LGBT rights when it doesn’t even apply to this class”
This is why sorority girl jokes exist. Classics such as:
Q: What’s the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
A: introduces herself.
Q: What’s the second thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
A: goes home.
Q: Why do sorority girls wear panties?
A: to keep their ankles warm.
And yes, these jokes are very very dumb and lacking any relevance at all. Exactly like Rebecca Martinson herself.