Welcome to the fourth annual NCAA Tournament Championship Drinking Game, one of our favorite articles every year here at The Sports Bank. If you missed our first three editions, you can check out the 2009 Michigan State vs. North Carolina version, the 2010 Butler vs. Duke edition, or last year’s UConn vs. Butler.
Even if you do not have a rooting interest in tonight’s game between the Kentucky Wildcats and Kansas Jayhawks; invite some friends over, buy a heck of a lot of booze, follow our drinking rules, and it will be as much fun as if your own team was playing.
Our lawyer insists we add the following: The Sports Bank is not responsible for anyone dumb enough to actually try this and the harm to his/her body that would certainly occur if this game was played. If you are idiotic enough to attempt keeping pace with this game, please have your local emergency room on stand-by and do not drink and drive. Thank you.
Every time one of the following happens; take the required amount of drinks:
Anytime Clark Kellogg calls Jim Nantz or Steve Kerr “partner”:
Pick a partner to do a two-man beer bong with
When CBS runs a commercial about Jim Rome coming to the network:
Throw a drink in the face of the person to your left and then say, “hilarious” in your best Rome-voice
Any time Ashley Judd is shown in the crowd:
Chug everclear until you forget about how poorly she has aged and can think back to the good ol’ days when she was smoking hot (Click here to see photos of what I’m talking about.)
If the 2008 Title game between John Calipari’s Memphis team and Bill Self’s Kansas team is mentioned:
Vacate the room to get more booze… ya know, since Memphis had to vacate all their wins from that season.
Every time John Calipari yells at one of his players:
Shower yourself in Franzia so you can symbolically cleanse the sleeziness off yourself
For every “three-point goggle” that is thrown up:
Put on some swimming goggles, lay down, and have three friends dump a full beer in your mouth at the same time
Any reference to Anthony Davis and Thomas Robinson being the top prospects in the 2012 NBA Draft:
Check out my 2012 NBA Mock Draft to confirm this as a fact… oh and uh, drink a Spotted Cow since that’s my go-to beer
If Terrence Jones gives the “Reeves Nelson serial killer” face:
Don’t be frightened, but do a shot of whiskey to calm your nerves
Anytime you hear a “Rock Chalk Jayhawk” chant:
Slam your beer when it begins, don’t stop chugging until it ends
If Tyshawn Taylor makes a three-pointer (he’s 0-20 in the NCAA Tournament):
Pop a bottle of Cristal
If Robinson’s tragic story is mentioned, the one involving the death of his mother:
Pour out a 40
If Kentucky wins the National Title:
Carry your couch outside, take the remaining alcohol and dump it all over couch, set couch on fire… that’s apparently the cool thing for UK students to do in Lexington…
David Kay is a senior feature NBA Draft, NBA, and college basketball writer for the Sports Bank. He also heads up the NBA and college basketball material at Walter Football.com and is a former contributor at The Washington Times Communities. David has appeared on numerous national radio programs spanning from Cleveland to New Orleans to Honolulu. He also had the most accurate 2011 NBA Mock Draft on the web.