By Paul M. Banks & David K.
We all know what a huge college hoops nerd David K. is so when his beloved Marquette was in town for the third annual Chicago Invitational (which is actually 45 minutes outside Chicago in Hoffman Estates) it wasn’t enough to for him to attend just the Marquette game, he had to watch Dayton versus Auburn as well. I thought this was a good chance for The Sports Bank.net’s top two executive officers to bond as those chances become rarer given our schedules and the fact we live in different states. I wanted to know what I was going to see so I brought along my Athlon Sports annual preview magazine. I also wanted to bone up on some of the non-conference opponents I will see play at Illinois and Northwestern this winter. And with my Athlon annual, David K. pointing out important factual highlights within it and having fourth row seats for a tourney, some serious college basketball boning was going on!
You get all four games for $60; when we walked in around 4 the titanic clash between Bethune-Cookman and Chicago St. was winding down. And yes, with everyone else out shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, it was a very empty arena.
Game 1: Bethune Cookman vs. Chicago St.
DK: Have you ever been here before?
PMB: Yes, The Illini won the inaugural edition of this tournament in ’06, I blew off my ten-year high school reunion to see Illinois win two Gwen Stefani games over Miami of Ohio and Bradley.
DK: Gwen Stefani games?
PMB: A “sweet escape†like the song because they sweetly escaped defeat. And…I was here once after that, to do a story on the Chicago Shamrox with their dance team featuring that friend of mine from high school Season. And her squad included a Autumn and Summer.
DK: Sadly, I know you’re not joking about their names. And sadder yet, I know the dance team was more exciting for you than the game that day.
PMB: I know nothing about lacrosse, and yes those are they’re given names, not stage names.
Since no one showed up to this tourney, we were able to get really good seats last minute with access to the “club.â€
DK: In his 50 Cent voice) You can find me in the Club…level, I got what you need Mama. I bet you’re going to head to the elite club bar for your drinks, and get the special buffet instead of Miller Lite and cheeseburgers like me at the snack bar.
PMB: That seems to be a reoccurring theme this weekend. Soxman spent most of my appearance at his holiday get-together ribbing me as a snob and elitist. Another person I know said “no wonder you cover Northwestern sports so much, a private school full of rich, smart kids, I’m sure you feel right at home there.†But yes, you’re correct in my food and beverage choices.
DK: It’s the Big Ten’s Ivy League school, Harvard of the Midwest. Why am I not surprised you’re being all bougey tonight
Game 2: Dayton vs. Auburn
PMB: Is this on tv?
DK: No, no one cares about Auburn-Dayton other than me. And people actually from Dayton and Auburn.
(He says this with a head-shaking gesture and facial grimace depicting his boundless capacity for collegiate hardwood wonder. A college hoops readiness that I have never seen in another individual and doubt I will ever see again)
I don’t think anyone other than ourselves would bring a college basketball annual and a notebook to watch a game.
PMB: I can’t conform to societal norms. You know that about me.
DK: I want Dayton to win because we know that we’re playing them tomorrow and if they get a win over a major conference team and then we’ll beat them…that helps our RPI!
PMB: NERDDDDDD! (Dave actually made the nerd gesture with his nose after his remarkably nerdy remark anyway)
DK: do you know Drew Neitzel is playing for a team in Germany right now? That just adds to the joke surrounding his neo-Nazi skinhead appearance!
PMB: Really?, good that’ll give me an excuse to put another picture of him and his hot sister on the site.
DK: I’m sure Pete will have Neitzel as a very high seed in our douchebrackets come March.
PMB: I’m counting on it. I’m rooting for Dayton, “Let’s go swing state!â€
DK: So did Ohio go Democratic?
PMB: Yep, when I saw it light up blue on election night, that’s when I knew it was over and we we’re going to win.
DK: So Obama winning Ohio was the three-pointer to put you up by double digits with less than a minute to play?
PMB: According to the Athlon annual #22 on Dayton, Paul Williams choose UD over Michigan State and Illinois. How dare he spurn my boys to instead play ball at the “birthplace of aviation.â€
DK: You should boo him for that. I’m sure the pull of being in the land of the Wright Bros. was too strong
DK: Dude, this is a YMCA game (in reference to the absolute horrible offensive efficiency being displayed on both ends of the court. Regulation ended in an ugly 47 all tie)
Auburn held the ball for the last 33 seconds only to settle for a very long three-point shot
DK: You ran out the clock for that!!! To settle for a 30-footer, what kind of offense is this?!
PMB: (In my Stewie from “Family Guy†voice) I find your offensive maneuvering inadequate! There are deficiencies in your game-planning that inhibit your probability for success in your objectives!
DK: This is not a tournament it’s an invitational. We know already which teams are playing each other regardless of the results.
PMB: Is that what separates a tournament from an invitational? What about the NIT- National Invitational Tournament?
DK: Touche!
PMB: And we drove past Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament on the way here. Is that an invitational?
Game 3: #16 Marquette vs. Northern Iowa
OH MY GOD watching a Marquette game with David is INSANE. HE IS FREAKIN NUTS! He’s so loud, animated and passionate about his team. MU Hoops is to him what the White Sox are to Soxman. At this point we were joined by TSB’s very own “Ghost in the Machine” you may remember him from a September Sox Exchange. He also posts frequently as the Hamburglar and wrote “powder blue is the best color ever. robble robble” in my notebook.
I mentioned to both of them how Auburn-Dayton was “the worst perimeter shooting in a game I’ve ever seen” and I understand why no one wanted to buy a ticket to it. Today, Dave sent me a link from ESPN telling me this statement is not hyperbole
HOFFMAN ESTATES, Ill. — Dayton broke a 13-year-old record for 3-point shooting futility on Friday against Auburn — and the Flyers still won.
In a 60-59 overtime win in the Chicago Invitational Challenge, Dayton went 0-for-24 on attempts from 3-point range. That broke the previous NCAA record of 0-for-22, set by Canisius against St. Bonaventure on Jan. 21, 1995.
Why is Dayton so God-awful behind the arc? probably because UNSTOPPABLE Illini two-guard Trent Meacham transferred out of Dayton two years ago. Hey, there’s a reason “Meacham Road” is a side street into the Sears Centre and they sell replica Meacham Illini jerseys at the Sports Authority down the street.
PMB: With Ali Farokhmanesh and Kwadzo Ahelegbe, Northern Iowa has now officially set a record for the hardest to pronounce starting backcourt in college b-ball history. Jordan Eglseder isn’t exactly the most common name in the world either.
Attendance was listed as 3,087, but that’s being VERY generous. The halftime show of the night’s marquee game was the Chicago Storm’s (the who? The what? Yeah I know we’ve never heard of them either) dance team.
DK: Sadly, this is by far the highlight of the night for you.
PMB: Check out the blonde on the right, you can see here “tramp stamp†sticking out above her tight black pants. Having fourth row has its advantages.
DK: There’s a basketball game out here you know?
PMB: MU has been blowing them out since tip-off. (They more than doubled the Panthers score at halftime and won handily 73-43. The UD-Aub game was just…embarrassing for all involved) These “Stormchasers†dancers…I was hoping they were the Shamrox “Hot Rox†instead. A couple of those girls are just one step away from dancing at “entertainment venues†in Chicago Heights, IL.
DK: I’m surprised you’re so into girls like that, I thought you were too bougey!
PMB: Well, socialites like myself are also really turned on by women from the complete opposite side of the tracks sometimes. I’m not sure if I’m being sarcastic or not at this point.
DK: So you can be like Skylar (Minnie Driver’s character in “Good Will Hunting,â€) you’ll have a story to tell about the time you went slumming once too.
PMB: LOL!! Love the GWH quotes, always a classic. That’s The Homer over there, right?
DK: Yes, Steve “the homer†True from ESPN Radio Milwaukee is the MU radio color analyst and currently courtside
PMB: Oh, good this will give me a chance to self-promote the appearance I did on his show right before the 2007 NFL Draft (which you can listen to by clicking here by the way…you’ll see it at the top of the page) in the blog.
DK: Yes, I know you love self-promotion almost as much as cheerleaders.
PMB: No, self-promotion is always much more important and exciting to me than cheerleaders.
DK: Lazar Hayward is my boy, He will be in my 2010 mock draft  Â
PMB: You really watch this game with so much intensity
DK: Intensity that was the name of our dance team at Marquette
Hey, I was there too!
Ghost, you missed the Auburn guy with suspenders and bowtie. he was classic I overheard people talking about him in the bathroom. the bow-tie is a “unique” look, other than former Illinois senator Paul Simon and Ticker Carlson, I can;t think of any other celebs to rock that look
And hey I posted at this at 2am, so sorry about the mistake, I’ll fix it now
when I went to Marquette, we used to call the dance team Obesity instead of Intensity because they were… well, you can figure it out.
hey, I support my team to the fullest… especially when I get to attend a game as a fan and not cover it as a media member… PS- Marquette looked SICKO!!!
Obesity that’s funny!
Good to see bottle up your passion that you must check while covering games and then let it out when you can as a fan. I’ve become the opposite, covering game and having to be as emotional as Belichick has made me less emotional even when I buy a ticket to a game now