We’re just days away from the start of NFL training camps! And I’m currently shopping for a new favorite team. Jay Cutler is my favorite player, but the Bears and the Patriots are the two teams I’ve loved in the past. There are/were “creative differences” between myself and both franchises that make it impossible for us to be together ever again. So after breaking up with both I look for a new team before the 2013 NFL season starts.
We’ll do this just like the playoffs. We’ll see who advances out of each division, through a mock postseason, and mock Super Bowl. Today, the AFC North:
Pros: I’ve done a lot of radio spots for CBS Cleveland, 92.3 The Fan, Cleveland.com (the Plain-Dealer’s online broadcast) and Bill Smith’s show at Frying Pan Sports. Smith is a great guy, and a pleasure to deal with. I could see myself suffering as a Cleveland Browns fan alongside him. I already have solidarity with Cleveland! And a presence in their sports talk radio footprint.
Cons: UGLY UNIFORMS! No actual logo! And there’s the suffering part. The Cleveland Browns don’t actually win games.
Pros: commitment to excellence, not like the Raiders b.s. They actually do excel. Fans are loyal, travel quite well, and supposedly friendly. There are a couple Steelers bars here in Chicago.
Cons: would be too bandwagon douchey. Rooting for the Steelers like rooting for the casino in BlackJack. Their quarterback is, although never convicted, a supposed serial RAPIST! That’s a big problem.
Pros: NO ONE will accuse you of being a bandwagon jumper or fairweather fan.You will be original. Maybe I can get myself booked on WKRP in Cincinnati to do guest spots. Then I can hang out with Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Fly Trap.
Cons: CinciNAUGHTY Bengals anyone? This could be the only NFL team as thuggish ruggish or worse than the Patriots; which is what I’m immediately trying to get away from. Sarah Jones, the female Jerry Sandusky, used to be their head cheerleader.
Pros: “Crab cakes and football! That’s what Maryland does” CC “Wedding Crashers.” Bad ass colors and logo. I love the literary reference to the franchise name. Baltimore ought to have something in it’s life
Cons: adopting the reigning Super Bowl champion? Out of the question. Next!
Division champ: Cleveland Browns. No Wild Cards advance from this division. Browns win this division by at least 3 games.Powered by Sidelines Follow paulmbanks