Minnesota Vikings hire Bengals DC Mike Zimmer as head coach


Minnesota-Vikings-mike-zimmer

Mike Zimmer is the next Minnesota Vikings Head Coach. According to Jay Glazer of Fox Sports, and corroborated by sources at both ESPN and NFL Network, the Bengals defensive coordinator and the Vikings agreed to terms today. Once the Mike Zimmer deal is complete, coupled with NFC North rival Detroit hiring Jim Caldwell yesterday, only the Cleveland Browns will be searching for a coach among NFL teams.

As you can see, NFL Head Coach openings are a Rust Belt thing this offseason. By the way, you may enjoy this video of Mike Zimmer cursing out his Bengals defenders from “Hard Knocks” (language NSFW)

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NSFW VIDEO: Mike Zimmer cursing out the Cincinnati Bengals defense


Minnesota-Vikings-mike-zimmer

Cincinnati Bengals Defensive Coordinator Mike Zimmer is the next Minnesota Vikings Head Coach. Nothing is official yet, but the Mike Zimmer situation has progressed to the point where multiple outlets: NFL Network, ESPN, Fox Sports are reporting it as a done deal. It’s rumored that Mike Zimmer wasn’t even going to leave the Vikings practice facility in Winter Park, Minnesota. He would accept the job and stay there. Jay Glazer seemed to have the Mike Zimmer story first.

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Jeff Garlin to lead roast of Boomer Esiason, Jay Cutler invited?


boomer-esiason

Boomer Esiason ripped Jay Cutler on media conference call at the beginning of the NFL season saying:

“He’s I guess, maybe in the top 15, I guess I would put him, but Chicago is a mid tier team in the NFC and the NFC is loaded. If things go right for them, they need to stay healthy and somehow beat Green Bay which is not something they’ve been able to do with consistency since Jay got there.”

Esiason went on to say more than that (read it here)

Then Boomer Esiason doubled down on his comments on Sunday during CBS NFL Today week one:

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Cincinnati Bengals vs Pittsburgh Steelers: brutally honest preview


cincinnati-bengals-cheerleader

Andy Dalton and the AFC North-leading Cincinnati Bengals (9-4) travel to Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pa., to take on Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers (5-8) on NBC’s Sunday Night Football. Coverage begins with Football Night In America at 6 p.m. CST on NBC. The Cincinnati Bengals were my Super Bowl Champion pick back in August, and maybe they aren’t world beaters, but they’re very good. And they’re doing it without their best defender Geno Atkins.

The Cincinnati Bengals absolutely destroyed the Indianapolis Colts last week, and are one win away from making the playoffs for the fourth time in the last five years.

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Boomer Esiason radio show to be nationally televised


boomer-esiason

Boomer Esiason is best known today for his role on CBS Sports, primarily on The NFL Today, as well as a morning co-host on New York radio station WFAN. Norman Julius Esiason is also a Monday Night Football analyst for Westwood One. He’s had a very interesting 2013 “media season.” Lawrence Taylor called him a dickhead live on a radio show. And Boomer Esiason made national headlines when he criticized Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears in the week leading up to NFL kickoff.

“He’s I guess, maybe in the top 15, I guess I would put him, but Chicago is a mid tier team in the NFC and the NFC is loaded,” Boomer Esiason said of Cutler.

Hard to say he’s wrong. Jay hasn’t really done anything this year to discredit that opinion, and labeling the Bears as a mid-tier team is very accurate. Maybe it’s even overrating them, considering they lost to the lowly Minnesota Vikings yesterday.

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Lawrence Taylor calls Boomer Esiason a dickhead


boomer-esiason

I know my loyal fanbase of Chicago Bears fans aren’t that keen on Boomer Esiason right now. After all, Norman Julius Esiason said that he took a poll of his NFL pundit colleagues and people in the league, and found that there were 20 quarterbacks in the league that pollsters would prefer over Bears QB Jay Cutler.

Then he said Jay Cutler was this generation’s Jeff George. As inaccurate as these assertions were, Boomer Esiason is just doing his job as a CBS Analyst, getting people to talk about Boomer Esiason.

And if you, the Bears fan were angry at him, or perhaps still are, Lawrence Taylor lashed out at him- just not over that. LT went off over a different issue.

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Bengals fans say no to Katy Perry and her giant boobies (video)


katy-perry-grammys-dress

Whenever I write about Katy Perry, I usually say “the breasts of Katy Perry” or “the boobs of Katy Perry” did xyz, because clearly she can’t make listenable music. Katy Perry is where she is today because of her looks, i.e. her breasts. A body can carry you far in America, especially if you’re a woman.

And if there’s one body part you would want to have going for you, it’s….the assets Perry has. They can sell any product you can imagine. If you’re a man, sorry, you don’t have a body part with similar marketing power. However, Katy Perry and the boobies of Katy Perry could still not win over the Cincinnati Bengals.
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Green Bay Packers vs. Cincinnati Bengals: brutally honest preview


jermichael finley vs. redskins

For the third straight week, the Green Bay Packers will face off with a 2012 playoff team.

This time around, it’s the Cincinnati Bengals – coming off a short week – who welcome the Packers to Paul Brown Stadium for the first time since 2005.

Both of these teams were pegged as serious contenders in their respective conference which begs the question; could this be a preview of this year’s Super Bowl?

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Chicago Bears vs Cincinnati Bengals: Brutally Honest Preview


jay-cutler-chicago-bears

The Chicago Bears season will be here in just five days. Think about all the things we focused on to not get bored since the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup (Sharknado, Kate Middleton, the Packers Eddie Lacy being fat/not fat/looking fat in a picture, the drunken escapades of Johnny Manziel, Miley Cyrus, Jay Cutler wearing an ’80s t-shirt….etc.

We did this because baseball here in Chicago was even more pathetic than it usually is. And we just couldn’t think about baseball during the summer drought period so we…well, Chicago Bears football is here, that’s what matters.

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Bears OG Kyle Long, meet Bengals DT Geno Atkins


Geno Atkins

When the Chicago Bears rookie lineman Kyle Long looks up on the line of scrimmage Sunday, there is a good chance he will see Geno Atkins staring back.

Long has done more than enough to earn the start at right guard in week one, but the level of competition he faced in the preseason was below average. In roughly three quarters against the starting defenses for San Diego and Oakland, Howie’s son did indeed look like a pro. Both teams did not take advantage of Long’s rookie mistakes, including the giving away of where he was going pre-snap.

Geno Atkins will have no problem reading rookie mistakes.

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NFL pundits embracing Cincinnati Bengals Super Bowl pick idea


cincinnati-bengals-cheerleader

A couple days ago I made the Cincinnati Bengals my Super Bowl Champs pick for 2013. And I’m not the only one embracing the Stripey Wotsits as your next NFL champs. Other league pundits are talking about this idea, if not agreeing with it.

Maybe the Cincinnati Bengals are the sexy 2013 NFL champs prediction. Like Sarah Jones level sexy.

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2013 NFL Season Predictions: Super Bowl Champion Bengals!


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Making predictions for the Super Bowl on February 2nd today on August 27th. Yes, you got to love it. That’s why I’m all about the Cincinnati Bengals as your Super Bowl champion. When you make NFL divisional and Wild Card picks before even the 4th preseason game…well that’s bold.

Look for these to be about as accurate as my NFL mock draft. So don’t take this with a grain of salt. How about a whole truckload of salt. Well, time is a wasting so let’s jump right to the predictions.

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