It’s a good thing for Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler that he has Kristin Cavallari in his life; because he won’t have winning football. First he has to work with the most brain dead wide receivers in the NFL, (Seriously, I have a feeling Mike Martz will have to dumb down his offense so much for these low IQ losers that he may just be managing a Forrest Gump offense; yelling “RUN!” and “STOP!”). But a bigger problem is that Cutler may have the worst offensive tackles in NFL history blocking for him.
And this Sunday against the Detroit Lions and Ndamukong Suh, we’ll see that problem exposed to the fullest.
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The Sports Bank and The Backdoor Cut were proud to host Fred Mitchell, columnist of 36 years for the Chicago Tribune, who was nice enough to join me to talk Cubs, White Sox, and the season to come for the Chicago Bears, in that order.
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After Steve McMichael was finished with his college, Chicago Bears and NFL careers, he spent four years as a professional wrestler. On the day of his enshrinement into the college football hall of fame, I had the opportunity to interview him. (And it was a pleasant surprise that the media availability hour happened to overlap with cocktail hour of the enshrinement reception)
“Mongo” told me the primary reason he got into wrestling was to again experience the transcendent thrill that accompanies walking out of the tunnel and hearing the crowd, anxious to bestow adoration upon him, roar in approval from his appearance.
But I’ll let him describe this phenomenon in his own words.
“Oh, there ain’t no drug like that. When you walk out of that tunnel baby, there’s nothing in this f***ing world like that adrenaline rush,” McMichael said.
By Paul M. Banks
For part one of this exclusive, go here
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The NFL is the richest, most powerful sports league going these days. Therefore, they have the most money to spend on spin control and message manipulation. However, retired NFL players (and this goes for older ex-jocks across the board in sports, not just football) are almost a million times more quotable than what you hear from athletes currently beholden to the corporatespeak training of NFL public relations departments.
And then there’s Steve “Mongo” McMichael, who’s on another, unclassifiable level. When interviewing him, you can’t really do Q & A with this 1985 Chicago Bears and Texas Longhorns legend.
He’s too smart and interesting for that.
Instead, the process is like a more sophisticated word association exercise. And the end result resembles the feeling of playing a radio controlled boat game at an amusement park. You put an effort in towards steering the vessel in the direction you want, but there’s no guarantee you’ll get to your intended destination. And even if you do, it won’t be via your intended path.
By Paul M. Banks
For part 2 go here
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Now that Nebraska is a part of the Big Ten, the Big 10 is actually a 12 team league, while the Big 12 now truly has ten teams. Which of course makes a ton of sense. Like the 1995-2001 NFC West division in the NFL. It contained the Carolina Panthers, Atlanta Falcons, St Louis Rams and New Orleans Saints. Yes, nothing says “west” like two teams in the Eastern time zone, and two more in the Central.
Anyways, illogical naming aside, having NU in the Big 10 means 12 teams which=championship game. That means boku bucks, and it could start in 2011 or 2012. But where? The home of the Chicago Bears? Green Bay Packers? Indianapolis Colts? Cleveland Browns?
By Paul M. Banks
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When the Chicago Bears drafted Cedric Benson into the NFL, scouts couldn’t stop talking about his character issue red flags. He was often compared to another Texas running back, Ricky Williams- who similarly has been a tremendous pain in the ass to every NFL team that has employed him. But Williams just likes to smoke a little greenery, and you know hippies- they’re always mellow. “Stoned bar fights” never occur. “Drunken bar fights” are commonplace.
Cedric “the Entertainer” Benson seems to find himself getting into more violent and surly situations than Williams does. He’s had a drunk driving arrest, legal troubles making him sillier “on a boat” than T-Pain, and now this: a bar room brawl resembling an episode described in a Merle Haggard song.
Guess it’s not such a great thing he joined the Cincinnaughty Bengals. Williams seems like a guy who just wants to spread the love, Benson by contrast appears like a man who would rather a fight.
By Paul M. Banks
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It’s not secret that the Chicago Bears have traditionally maintained an adversarial relationship with the media. In recent years, it’s become even WORSE. During our second annual bracket of douchitude, the champion of my region, the #3 seeded Chicago Bears Media Relations Dept, won the whole thing. The readers have spoken, and the votes came in against them overwhelmingly. Their Final Four match-up against Tea Party members was actually a shut out in their favor.
So this is more evidence that it’s not just the media who abhor the Bears’ Soviet Unionlike obsession with message control. The fans are disgusted by it as well. We all know how useless Bears press conferences are, but now they’re trying to take steps towards making all media coverage of them obsolete. They recently implemented new, ridonkulously restrictive guidelines on the press These guidelines, of course, do not apply to the PR flaks, the Bears call “reporters.” You know, those douches who sit in on press conferences and ask the players softball questions.
By Paul M. Banks
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EVANSTON, Ill. — After having three Northwestern players chosen in last weekend’s NFL Draft, three more Wildcats — wide receivers Zeke Markshausen and Andrew Brewer, and safety Brendan Smith — have earned invites to NFL camp tryouts this weekend.
For a complete interview and profile of Markshausen, go here
Markshausen will try out for the hometown Chicago Bears, while Brewer earned an invitation to the New England Patriots camp. Smith landed in Washington and will try out for the Redskins.
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By Paul M. Banks
Hopefully, for the sake of Corey Wootton, the Chicago Bears, and the Northwestern Wildcats, this pick turns out more like Alex Brown than Michael Haynes. The Bears have had a very mixed bag lately when it comes to drafting defensive ends.
But it became official Saturday morning during the NFL Draft, the “Coreysaurus” is staying in the Chi, trading in his purple and white for blue and orange.
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By Paul Schmidt
With their first pick of the 2010 NFL Draft, the Chicago Bears drafted Major Wright, a free safety out of the University of Florida.
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By Paul Schmidt
The first round has come and gone, and let’s answer some of those burning questions that you have about the Chicago Bears‘ draft!
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Congratulations to our bracket of douchitude winners…..
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Here we go for all the marbles!!! The winner of our bracket of douchitude will be either…
…The Chicago Bears Media Relations Department (Banks Regional Champion)
or
…Minnesota Timberwolves GM David Kahn (Peter Christian Regional Champion)
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VOTE NOW!
Chicago Bears Media Relations Department (Banks Regional Champion)
VS.
Tea Party Movement (McCormick Regional Champion)
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There’s a reason every Chicago Bears press conference is the most boring and utterly useless experience in the world of sports. There’s a reason Lovie Smith is most worthless and yawn-inducing soundbite in the history of the city. (And Matt Forte isn’t far behind). There’s a reason Lovie is perfectly fine with presenting himself as a soulless corporate mouthpiece, who never says anything of substance. Ever.
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By Paul M. Banks
Last fall, I had an exclusive with Nick Roach, a Northwestern alum who started at Linebacker for much of the Bears 2009 season. And now, as you get ready to fill out your brackets for March Madness, I’d like to pass on a very important message from him.
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By Paul M. Banks
In America, every single holiday is pretty much all about consumption and consumerism. Therefore, the Super Bowl, a day in which the opportunity to sell us crap costs more than it does at any other point, is truly our national holiday. It’s the time when Madison Avenue’s All-Star team gets to shine. But let’s be honest the Mad Men haven’t really given us much to enjoy or talk about on Super Sunday ever since the Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson “wardrobe malfunction”. However all of that will change one week from today, when Boost Mobile gives us the Super Bowl Shuffle 25 year reunion spots.
The Sports Bank.net has acquired these exclusive advance teaser clips for your amusement (and/or bemusement). I still remember giving the original Super Bowl Shuffle 45 record away in a 1st grade Christmas party grab bag. So I guess I’m getting old. Especially since I don’t recall being this excited about a Super Bowl advertisement. I really can’t.
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By Alex Simon
After an eventful two seasons (unfortunately, not many eventful things happened on the field) the Redskins started off Black Monday early today by announcing the sacking of Jim Zorn. Zorn met with the GM Bruce Allen at approximately 4am, when Zorn learned of his firing.
This news does not come to much surprise considering the past speculations and the actions the Skins took throughout this season. Whether it was taking Zorn’s offensive play calling away and giving it to a Bingo player or interviewing an assistant coach in the middle of the season, the Redskins made it clear Zorn would not be the head football coach after this season.
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By Paul M. Banks
There’s nothing quite like high expectations going unfulfilled to crush your soul. It all started in April with the Jay Cutler trade. The coming of big JC, the savior to Chicago was about as hyped as Jesus H. Christ. The Bears forgot to mention that no one was going to block for Cutler, and that he would be given no one to throw to; except for three guys who run the wrong routes so often they appear to have a collective IQ of 12. The tremendous let down that is the 2009 season is reason enough for plenty of Bears fans to annul their relationship with the team, but it’s only part of the equation for me.
My reasons are personal, as both fan and journalist. In September, I learned the Bears Media Relations policy is pretty much “Go F— Yourself.” I thought it was just towards me, but then I learned plenty of other media professionals have had similar (or worse) treatment. As annoying as it is to have some just out of college PR flak talk down to you, that horrible experience was nothing compared to my game attending fiasco this fall.
My live-in girlfriend (well, now “ex-girlfriend” but that’s another story entirely) wanted tickets to a game for her birthday, so I had to pay the absurd scalper markup (like face value isn’t ridiculously overpriced enough) to go and see them get utterly destroyed by the Arizona Cardinals in person. [More …]
