New Chicago Cubs outfielder Dave Sappelt, you are no Dave Chappelle. Your attempts at humor were about as effective as Alfonso Soriano’s fielding. Your rendition/attempt at Sinbad’s “women be shopping!” bit fell painfully flat. And you made remarks that would get you an A+ at the Joe Cowley school of gender relations.
In case you haven’t heard, there’s ice and freezing rain on Midwestern roads tonight. And that means driving might be a bit more treacherous for all. Or if you listen to Sappelt, the road conditions are even more hazardous if you have a vagina. Sappelt tweeted:
“@SappySappelt6 Women driving me scares the dog shit out of me”
I think Danica Patrick may take issue with this since deleted tweet. Wait there’s more, Sappelt later tweeted:
“When women get to shopping theres no stopping them looks like its time to pull the #FIREALARM”
Women driver jokes?? What are you a hack comedian from the 1950s Borsch Belt? Stop sounding like a regressive troglodyte. Secondly, tone down the language. Because tons of kids look up to you. The sailor talk isn’t a good example for them. Third, why would dog shit come out of you? You’re not a quadruped, you’re a human being so how would dog shit get in your system in the first place? Fourth, you’re a Buffalo Bills fan. Actually, this I’ll respect, there are no bandwagon, fair-weather Bills fans on this planet. That team is the Charlie Brown Christmas tree of the NFL.
h/t to Julie DiCaro who had many great responses to this. including this one:
“For the love of God, @Cubs, I’m begging you. Let me teach social media etiquette to your players.”
Yeah, Cubs Media Relations, maybe you should invite her to Wrigley to give a seminar.
Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, a Google News site generating millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Chicago Tribune.com, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports
A Fulbright scholar, published author and MBA, Banks has appeared on live radio all over the world; he’s also a member of the Football Writers Association of America, U.S. Basketball Writers Association, and Society of Professional Journalists. The President of the United States follows him on Twitter (@Paul_M_BanksTSB) You should too.
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twit writer all a twitter over tweet
your comments about this tweet are more disturbing than the tweet.
When did a tweet begin to matter?
TWEET jesus Banks you signed this and listed all your accomplishments as if they still matter after this.
If the president follows tweets then we are screwed.
I hope to god that our president does not tweet or follow tweets. A new player trying to fit in is a much better excuse than you have after you took the dog doody comment and ran with it.
Acting as if the dog doody was meant literal makes me think your weird and possibly disturbed.
Writing more weirdness about dogshit than the original tweet must be attributed to your being a Fulbright scholar.
what are you stuck in 2006? Of course tweets are news. They’re public statements on the record made to thousands of people. And of course POTUS is on Twitter. It’s where news breaks first. It’s the AP wire of today