Welcome to the October 10th, 2014 edition of “The Cuttys,” or the Jay Cutler DON’T CARE awards. They honor, as one Facebook commenter put it:
“all the non-news that’s fit to delete.”
Or more literally: “terrible attempts at creating news, that I instantly deleted upon seeing it in my inbox.”
All media members receive dozens of press releases and story pitches from publicists, Sports Information Departments, Media Relations and PR people every week. This one was the most utterly asinine and completely worthless that I received this week.
And as always, in case you missed it, here’s how these awards got named.
A big brand name such as the Chicago Cubs should truly be above this. There is no parallel universe in this crapola below could be considered news and not product placement. Since the Physical Therapy company isn’t compensating us for this post, we will redact their name from the press release which we have copied and pasted below. If they want to advertise, they need to purchase that advertising space.
*REDACTED* Now the
Official Physical Therapy Provider of the Chicago Cubs
The Chicago Cubs and *REDACTED* are proud to announce their new Legacy Partnership, recognizing *REDACTED* as the “Official Physical Therapy Provider of the Chicago Cubs.” The long-term agreement unites two organizations rich with tradition and a dynamic vision for the future.
“An affiliation with the Cubs has been in our sight for some time, and on behalf of the entire *REDACTED* team, we are thrilled to be entering into this long-term partnership,” said* REDACTED* “The future and direction of the Cubs, as well as the development project around Wrigley Field, makes this an extremely exciting time to form this Legacy Partnership. We look forward to many successful years with the Cubs organization.”
”The Cubs are thrilled to welcome *REDACTED* as a Legacy Partner who will help us achieve our goal to bring winning baseball to Wrigley Field,” said Cubs President of Business Operations Crane Kenney. “Our partnership with *REDACTED* includes ensuring our team has access to the best physical therapy in the nation, as well as a meaningful presence within a restored Wrigley Field and Lakeview community. Our players, fans and neighbors will all benefit from this partnership.”
The partnership will give the Chicago Cubs access to rehabilitation services from the preeminent physical therapy and sports medicine provider in the nation. *REDACTED* will also provide athletic training assistance to the Cubs’ medical staff.
Additionally, *REDACTED* will have exclusive category advertising rights within Wrigley Field, as well as Cubs Park during Spring Training in Mesa, Arizona. To support *REDACTED* efforts in the communities it serves,*REDACTED* Will be designated as a sponsor of the Cubs on the Move Fitness Trolley, Cubs Summer Camps and the Cubs Charities Race to Wrigley 5K. In collaboration with ATI MissionWorks, an initiative to support *REDACTED* clinicians who offer expertise in developing countries, the Chicago Cubs will be a partner on a missionary trip to the Dominican Republic.
*REDACTED* has an extensive history of partnerships with professional sports organizations within the regions it serves, including the Milwaukee Brewers, Milwaukee Bucks, Indianapolis Colts, Indiana Pacers, Detroit Tigers, Detroit Lions and Philadelphia Phillies, in addition to collegiate teams such as Notre Dame and Purdue University.
Yes, that’s a lot redacteds. It’s how many times the brand name was mentioned. Just awful I know. The press release is actually twice this size, and there’s a whole ‘nother section about the company itself. For your sake, we left that out. But again, who, outside of the business people in the front office of the Cubs, and the leadership of the physical therapy company WOULD EVER CARE ABOUT THIS?
Why would a Chicago Cubs fan care? Why would a media member covering the Chicago Cubs EVER CARE?
Wow! That was bad. Here’s the rest of the Hall of Shame:
Cutty Award archives:
8-29-14: Taye Diggs, Jon Beason
8-1-14: Milwaukee Bucks
7-25-14: Grantland/30 for 30 Shorts
7-18-14: THE Ohio State University
Paul M. Banks owns, operates and very often writes The Sports Bank.net ,which is partners with Fox Sports. Read his features stories in the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. Listen to him on 1620 The Zone. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks). His work has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including The Washington Post and ESPN 2
Leave a Reply