Like Jeff Winger on “Community” famously said: “What’s your favorite color? Because mine’s a three way tie between red, white and blue.” The U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team are obviously America’s team right now, and deservedly do. The Chicago Cubs are/were America’s Team of sorts. At least in the time before national sports networks proliferated and exploded. Older readers can recall a time when there were only two teams that you could see on television coast to coast- the Cubs and the Atlanta Braves.
Anyway, it’s time for star spangled analogizing; with our annual World Cup simile column.
Admittedly, last year’s edition, the World Cup round of 16 analogized as college basketball programs, was a lot better than what you’re about to read.
Alex Morgan = Anthony Rizzo
Promotional face of the franchise. The star player who can always be counted on to publicly say all the things management wants to hear. The perfect program posterchild due to their consistent corporatespeak. To the tourists, this is the team’s best player.
Carli Lloyd = Kris Bryant
Before this year, they were mostly known only to the hard core fans. But these two overnight sensations are now the next/new big thing. To those who have only been following in 2015, this is the team’s best player.
Hope Solo = Starlin Castro
Team’s most polarizing figure. Due to history of off-the-field issues. Many fans of the team aren’t exactly fans of this individual. With Castro, the backlash is probably less deserved. His troubles aren’t as definitive as they are with Solo. She’s truly deserved your acrimony. Also, neither one seems to the talk the media a whole lot.
Abby Wambach = Jon Lester
The Cubs don’t really have an elder statesmen superstar, but Wambach/Lester are certainly the established big names on their respective clubs. Also, neither one have been a primary, or even a secondary, reason for the squad’s successes in 2015. Both are still immensely talented; both are still contributing. It’s just that Wambach isn’t really the USWNT’s star player anymore. Just like Lester isn’t the Cubs “Ace.”
Megan Rapinoe = Jake Arrieta
Really don’t get the headlines at all, but to the purists and the experts, but this might be the team’s most valuable player. Arrieta is the team’s true “Ace.”
Becky Sauerbrunn = Addison Russell
The team’s best defender; and that might be where the analogy ends. The Cubs are actually 24th out of 30 in MLB when it comes to overall fielding. So they’re actually the opposite of the USWNT in terms defensive abilities.
Julie Johnston = David Ross
You can still make a case that Johnston is the USWNT best defender; depending on what metric you’re looking that. Ross has the second best Defensive Wins Above Replacement; while Russell is the first.
Yes, a lot of people are missing from this- Ali Krieger, Dexter Fowler, Sydney Leroux, Tobin Heath, Jorge Soler, Hector Rondon, Christen Press, just to name a few. Hey, it’s the All-Star break/off-season.
Paul M. Banks owns, operates and writes The Sports Bank.net, which is partnered with Fox Sports Digital. Banks, a former writer for the Washington Times, currently contributes to the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. He also appears regularly on numerous sports talk radio stations all across the country.
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