Cubs call up Jorge Soler. “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!”

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It took until August, but now the Chicago Cubs are starting to put the steak behind the sizzle in their preseason marketing slogan. “It’s going to be the part of the century” is the mantra, and although it refers specifically to the 100th birthday of Wrigley Field, in general the idea encompasses Margaritaville at Clark and Addison.

Jorge Soler has been called up, and he will make his professional debut in Cincinnati tonight. The Soler eclipse follows us on the Javier Baez Beazsus craze. Indeed Cubs presenter Kelly Crull may truly be the hostess over “the party of the century.”

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Hey, Jorge Soler and Javier Baez (and you know the Kris Bryant product rollout with be in September) are ten zillion times more exciting than painting a stupid sign (which was a branded shill masquerading as a news story) or selling chairs that New York Yankees have sat in. Or worse, handing out a bobblehead of an opposing player accomplishing something against the Cubs. Yes, all these things have happened in 2014.

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Maybe Kelly Crull is the wrong host for this party. No, we need Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield from “Caddyshack” instead!

Jorge Soler, show us why the Cubs are going to be the 2019 World Series champs

Paul M. Banks owns and operates The Sports Bank.net, which is partnered with Fox SportsYahoo! and the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. He’s been a guest on news talk shows all across the world and been featured in hundreds of media outlets including NFL Network, Fox Sports 1 and ESPN2. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks)

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