Reading it feels like winning the lottery…every Tuesday!

By Paul M. Banks

-Last week Trenni was swinging the big stick in the TSB lineup; this week the hot bat belongs to the site’s Executive Vice President and my “media industry BFF,” David K. His 27th birthday is Wednesday, and his national holiday the NBA Draft is Thursday.

His draft lottery analysis and mock drafts are putting up BIG numbers in page views, hits, page visits etc. His stuff is doing Deadspin like numbers. No, check that; some of Deadspin’s postings are miniscule compared to the numbers you’re putting up. Check out his NBA Mock draft and draft related material here all week, and compare his mock against the one on the official NBA site http://www.nba.com/draft2008/

-For anyone that runs a business selling Boston Celtics diapers, Red Sox sippy cups or New England Patriots bibs, lets do a business power lunch and soon. Take a look at the site’s myspace page. http://www.myspace.com/paulmbanks Scroll through the comment wall. I want you businessmen to know that 90% of the people who post on my myspace page are either 1.) really hot single mothers. 2.) female New England sports fans. Some intersect both demographics; so let’s make a deal and we can both make Mad Money like Jim Cramer.

-Soxman had a busy week appearing in Monday’s edition of the most erudite and extremely high-brow of high-brow publications, the Chicago Tribune Red Eye. (I’m not motivated to find the link right now) and he was named to CLTV’s list of sexiest Sox fans. Soxman’s alter ego tells me I look like Kansas City Royals shortstop Alex Gordon, especially in my NBC photo. My SICA crew says I look like the leader of Fall Out Boy. Either one sounds like juice to me. Pics of me are towards the end of this edition.

-This is the fourth time this year that what I’ve done when I’m out on the town has ended up publicized on the internet. http://amyguth.wordpress.com/2008/06/21/take-me-out-tonight-3/ I’m starting to feel like a Diva.

-Reader Feedback of the week

“Don’t let up on the subtle juice references.  Your loyal followers are
 right there with you.”

 – M. Schaefer, San Francisco, CA 

-If you haven’t seen the video of the famous minor league baseball switch pitcher/switch hitter incident, go to this link. If Larry David wrote a Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about baseball, it would likely look something like this

http://deadspin.com/5018343/you-gonna-bat-left-im-gonna-throw-left-right-hey-we-can-do-this-all-day-pal

-This is Shaq’s finest rap effort (the video where he trashes Kobe on stage) since
“What’s up doc?”
“Can we rock?”
http://www.tmz.com/tmz_main_video?titleid=1626146951

-Mother Nature continues to be a mean bitch this month unleashing natural disasters all over the world, but once again hitting my home state with catastrophic flooding. As livestock and pigs die, corn crops get destroyed, already sky-high food and fuel prices will shoot up even more. It’s pretty much bleak news all around!

http://www.wane.com/Global/story.asp?S=8538129&nav=0RYb
http://www.wcsh6.com/news/national/story.aspx?storyid=89522&catid=45 

-When I heard about the breach of the levees, the terrible job that the Army Corps of Engineers did in designing them, and the death and destruction raining down on my people, I felt it was time to take a page from the book of my favorite musical artist and say

“George W. Bush HATES white people”

Check out the flooding photos my sister Rachel and brother-in-law Nate took in their airplane this past weekend flying over their home northwest of the city. http://picasaweb.google.com/rachelmelonhead/FoxRiverFlooding?authkey=AECUhTqLbvk

Port Barrington

-The Week in Review is made possible only because of good, wholesome Midwestern family values. Check out the photos of members of my family in their thesportsbank.net t-shirts at the White Sox on the 14th. All my sisters and nieces and nephews attended. Yes, I am aware these pictures have absolutely zero news value outside the Banks family.
 

My hipster sister Kristen, in her oh-so-hip obscure Japanese baseball jersey of a team no one has heard of. With her husband Oscar.

Me with their daughter Sarena.

Me with my Godson and nephew Ben

And of course, the person who brought me (and therefore The Sports Bank) into this world, my mother, the ultimate SICA chick of all SICA chicks.

-This first guy has been linked to by Simmons so everyone’s seen him by now, but he’s the guy who imitates batting stances, including Cubs and Sox:

http://www.youtube.com/user/BattingStances

-Some hilarious baseball stadium performance art, Andy Kaufmann-style:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQEtS1KXzNg&feature=related

-Finally, this is Gay pride month and the week of the Gay Pride parades, so it’s time to shatter the prejudices and preconceived notions you might have about homosexuals and sports.  

-Jerry Pritikin, he’s been described as the “Gay Forrest Gump” and the Wrigley Field “Bleacher preacher;” he’s one of the most acclaimed photographers of the gay rights movement and a die-hard Cubs fan working hard to save the name of Wrigley Field.

http://www.beyondchron.org/articles/Ex_San_Franciscan_Leads_Fight_to_Save_Wrigley_Field_5652.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rk3CgaGuOg

-A Lesbian and her date were kicked out of a Seattle Mariners game for PDA: Public Display of Affection.
http://machochip.com/2008/05/mtv-reality-show-girl-sirbrina.php

If the name Sirbrina Guerrero sounds familiar, she was once a contestant of MTV’s “a shot at love with Tila Tequila.”
http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/tila_tequila/cast_member/cast_member.jhtml?personalityId=9885

If you’re unfamiliar with that show, (and I often wish I was unfamiliar) basically, contestants vied for the affection of a semi-retarded Vietnamese porn star pretending to be bisexual named Tila Tequila.

Trackback Post

Related Posts